Her vagina smells like spoiled cabbage

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Dear Cary,

How do you tell your vegan girlfriend that she smells like spoiled cabbage, and sometimes the smell “down there” is revolting? Hopefully you can pull this out of the archives, I hate to see people work for free.

Signed,

Let’s Come Together for a Better-Smelling World!

Dear Let’s Come Together,

First, before you say anything to her, I suggest you learn as much as you can about the possible sources of vaginal odor. The Mayo Clinic site is great for solid, general information.

Then bring it up, but gently. Don’t mention spoiled cabbage. Don’t mention her vegan diet. Tell her that you noticed an unusual odor and that while it may have many causes, you are concerned, lest it be a health issue for her. Suggest that if it persists she should see her doctor just to be sure it isn’t an infection that needs to be treated, or one of a few more serious conditions.

While food doesn’t directly cause strong vaginal odor, according to this piece at the site Woman4Woman, “it can contribute to changes in the vaginal environment and affect the scent of your vaginal secretions.”

The fact that you mention that she’s a vegan indicates a couple of things. You may have noticed food-related odors on her skin and breath, and diet may have something to do with that. You may also have certain negative feelings about her vegan diet that you haven’t fully shared with her. So this could be a tricky subject, maybe as touchy as her vagina. So be careful and keep in mind that the most important thing here is the relationship. And the sex. Without condemning her diet, you might mention that certain foods really do change how she tastes. You might mention that the sex is very important to you, and you want to continue to have a good sex life, and then see if perhaps you can bathe together first, or something like that. Or ask if you can wash it. She might like that, actually, if you put it the right way. It might feel pretty good. It depends on the person.

And definitely, if it persists, she should see a doctor.

Also — and here we get to the emotional part: If she objects to your bringing it up, or seems not to care, or thinks it shouldn’t be an issue, then you might get mad. You might want to break up with her. You might want to make hypothetical statements about some perceived connection between her vaginal odor and her vegan diet. If that happens,  just take a deep breath and tell her that it feels like she’s not taking your feelings seriously.

Seriously. I know that sounds all kinda California and all, but give it a try. Focus on the feelings, not on the cabbage.

I am indeed as you say “working for free” on this column now, until we can figure out a revenue model (O Holy Grail of Internet commerce where are you?) so I cannot go into as much detail as I might like, but I hope this is helpful. And if this reply isn’t helpful, try Dan Savage. Our many wise readers will also, I hope, comment with their experience and knowledge.

Thank you, O Great Readers and Commenters, Many of Whom Have Come Here From that Other Land We Remember Fondly but Also with Concern …

Best
CT

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14 comments

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  • First thing I’d do is go see your GYN. Make sure that there isn’t a serious issue there first. If everything checks out, I’d look into some natural ways of dealing with this problem.

    For me I started looking into fruits and vegetables that help. Grapefruit and pineapples help a lot. There are also vitamins that help but none really showed any type of change for me.

    Then after spending a few hours on the net I came across this natural supplement for women’s needs and care called balance complex for women.

    I’ve been let down before by supplements promising the world. This type of issue is especially embarrassing and I’m just thrilled this has been working so far.

    Would tell any lady to not hesitate and give this a try, will change your life.

  • In addition to the possibilities that A. she could have a vaginal infection (these are quite common, so it’s possible that she has one, and some women have them for a long time because either they don’t know what to do about it or the treatments they’ve received for it just don’t work in the long term) and that B. her food intake could be influencing her body odors (this is also normal – what I eat affects my body odors and how my skin, mouth, etc. tastes), there are a couple of other possibilities that I’d like to suggest.
    C. It might be due to either a vitamin imbalance or some vitamin supplements that she is taking. Note: I am NOT criticizing the nutritional basis of veganism here, that’s not at all my point. I personally have gone through times of having vitamin deficiencies and vitamin excesses (confirmed by lab tests) and it’s interesting how that can slightly alter one’s body chemistry. I can even smell some of my current vitamin/mineral/herbal supplements in my urine, and I’m sure they must affect to some degree how I smell in general to other people, and how I taste to others.
    D. It might just be that your body chemistry does not mesh well with hers. People whose immune systems are genetically relatively similar will, I have read, according to scientific experiments, actually not smell very good to each other on the level of hormones and pheremones etc., and it’s been hypothesized that this is nature’s way of putting together romantic couples that have differing immune systems so any resulting baby would have a healthy mixture of different genes.
    I definitely have dated guys I liked and got along well with, but there just was something unpleasant about their body’s natural smell to me. And certainly I’ve kissed a few guys on a first or second date and found that I really didn’t like the taste of their kisses (nothing to do with food they’d eaten or anything temporary, it was simply their natural taste). I am sure that this has happened the other way as well, with perhaps a few guys who have dated me finding my natural, general body smell or taste more off-putting than come-hither, although no one has ever given me that reason for deciding to stop dating (not that most people ever give a concrete reason anyway).
    E. Some women just have a more robust vaginal smell than others, while otherwise they are healthy and “normal”. I can’t say that I personally have much experience of being close up to other women’s vaginas, but I’ve read this a lot, including in articles written by physicians who routinely examine female patients in that area of the body. It’s not due to an infection or whatever, it’s just her body. Just like some people’s skin is oilier than others’, or some people’s bones are more brittle than others’.
    It is said that some men like pungent vaginal odors and find them earthy, sexy, animalistic, etc. (at this point the old Napoleon / Josephine quote is trotted out, usually). Other men are more sensitive in a negative way to them, and get turned off if it’s noticeable.
    I’ve found the same with guys’ private regions – different men can have different smells and tastes down there.
    So, maybe it’s just a physical mismatch between the two of you that you won’t really be able to solve, and if you can’t get used to it, maybe the relationship isn’t fated to be a long-term one.
    —-
    Note: If she does have an infection like bacterial vaginosis, I’ve read that the typical prescription treatment often doesn’t work for women, and the infection keeps coming back. A lot of women find that using a douche using half hydrogen peroxide, half plain warm water, for a short period of time (like twice a day for 3-5 days) can get rid of the bacterial vaginosis. There’s even a medical journal article about a study that found this peroxide douche was more effective than prescription treatments – you can look it up for free on the Pubmed website. This simple treatment has helped me recover completely, the two different times in my life that I had bacterial vaginosis.
    A lot of women have shared their concerns about having unwanted odor in their vaginal area and different treatments they’ve tried to eliminate it on the earthclinic website — one has to slog through a lot of stories to get the nuggets, but there is some good info there, a lot of heartfelt comments by women who are struggling with unwanted vaginal odor and/or infections.

  • Perhaps you could open this page while she is nearby. You could start laughing. You might call her over and get her to read it. (DO NOT, under any circumstances, reveal that you are the letter writer ie that from her perspective, you told The Entire World her junk smells bad). Then you might ask her what she would do in the letter writer’s situation.

  • It could also be related to the type of soap she uses “down there”, If she can be motivated to self-help she could try a product that restores the PH Balance. (I don’t live in the USA so would not know the names there but here in The Netherlands it is called Balance Activ.) You squirt in a tube full of this stuff at night for a week and voilá – oder gone! And then follow up with a soap that also maintains the PH balance. Also – if you haven’t noticed an odd smell elsewhere, breath, skin – then I’d tend to think it is the PH balance that is hay-wire. It’s a bit puzzling that she has not noticed herself. I think I’d approach it in a very simple way – like maybe asking has she noticed she’s smelling funny. It could be that she has noticed but doesn’t realize that it is an indication that something could be wrong. Hope it all works out.

  • the smelly vagina. poor vegan lady. she could very well have an infection. but she could also just be a dirty hippie. food does impact aroma. like, when i eat fish i get fishy. and when i eat garlic, i get garlic’y. on the real.

    just cause she doesn’t eat animal products doesn’t mean she is eating a clean diet. if she eats junk food, she will smell junky. she needs a doctor, a good scrub, some new clean chonies, and to drink lots of water. a douche will change the ph of the vag, and a compromised ph leads to infection and smell– just say no to the douche. might i suggest baby wipes near the toilet? those are always helpful for everyone’s bits, male or female.

  • Maybe she’s douching? That can really backfire and make things smell worse instead of better. She might be cleaning with products that get rid of good bacteria and let the bad take over.

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  • BV (Bacterial Vaginosis) smells fishy. Trichomonas vaginalis is more likely to smell musty, like, as our writer puts it “spoiled cabbage.” On the other hand, some women have a naturally strong odor, and need to douche more often. She may be aware of it, and is just hoping you haven’t noticed it, or is too embarrassed to bring it up herself. A delicate subject for sure. Follow Cary’s advice.

    • A woman should NEVER use douche. That stuff really upsets the PH balance….if it’s already out of whack due to an infection, douching will just make it worse.

    • No, no, no, no, no. NEVER ever douche! Maybe don’t give advice if you don’t know what you’re talking about. Removes good healthy bacteria leaving you open TO infections.

  • A lesser known cause of this is Claritin and I suppose other allergy medications because they change mucus membranes. What would bother me is that she isn’t aware of it, or concerned about it. I would be wondering about her own personal hygiene. I wouldn’t jeopardize my own health if I were you. Say something if you are able to open up about it; if not, get away.

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  • That sounds like bacterial vaginosis or BV, but there are TONS of medical conditions that could cause those symptoms. She needs to see a doctor.

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