Write for Advice
Do not trust the voice in your head that says everyone else has a distorted perception of what day it is.
Recognize that when your wife reminds you it’s Tuesday and that you said you would write a column on Tuesday, she thought you meant you would write a column on Tuesday. Recognize that it is Tuesday. Recognize that when out of touch with others for more than a minute you construct an alternate universe complete with its own calendar possibly based on the Mayan.
Drink green tea. Pay your property tax online. Be careful when paying your property tax online.
In general, note that the Internet is vast and theoretically infinite. An advice column is finite. In paying property tax online before writing the column note that it is possible to click on links that will provide information about unrelated activities, such as obtaining a dog license online. Note that clicking on such links will not help get the advice column done. Nor will clicking on such links lead to getting a draft of the novel finished by today which is the deadline.
In general, cede the following additional points: In writing, completion is good and possible. In browsing the Internet, completion is not possible; cessation will only come through exhaustion and bewilderment.
In particular, weigh the appropriateness of writing an advice column that does not begin with a letter asking for advice. Calculate that within the definition of “advice column” there may be room for columns that do not begin with a letter. Recognize that it is Tuesday. Recognize that Tuesday is the day I write an advice column.
In particular, recognize that although today is the day that by 7 pm of which a rough, rough, rough draft of the novel Burning the Rain Girl must finally be produced and printed, there is also time to meet other commitments, such as paying the property tax and writing a column.
In general, match the remedy with the malady. I.e. Intoxication does not cure confusion, isolation does not cure loneliness, grandiosity does not cure insecurity, material goods do not satisfy non-material needs.
In particular, celebrate the fact that more than one writing project can be completed in the course of a day. Plus taxes can also be paid. Celebrate the fact that time is linear. Within one day there are many consecutive minutes. Celebrate the fact that after many years and many drafts real, tangible progress on the novel is within reach. Celebrate the fact that not having a job has its advantages, creatively speaking. In particular, note with gratitude that things are not falling apart. In particular, note for good and for ill, you are not William Faulkner.