Archive

January 2014

I lost my engagement ring — and secretly replaced it at Wal-Mart

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUN 1, 2006 Cary, I have a problem that I don’t know how to fix. Three years ago, a year after I became engaged, I lost my engagement ring. While I was camping with my fiancé and two friends, we decided to take a walk in the water by the beach. As a...

Can our marriage survive infertility and depression?

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I wrote to you once about seven years ago — I was a faithful column reader before and until now. Your advice was spot on, and now I find myself in a heartbreaking situation that I hope you will shed your light on. My husband and I have been married for six years. We have...

My boss throws herself on the floor when unhappy

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  Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Jan 26, 2012   She berates! She glares! She makes backhanded comments about your lunch selection! Shouldn’t I, uh, say something?   Dear Cary, My boss is insane. I know people say that a lot but I’m pretty sure I win. I recently started working for someone who I thought was an extravagant and eccentric designer, but instead I find out that she...

I want a perfect wedding, but my in-laws are trashy

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  Cary’s archival column from FRIDAY, SEP 28, 2007   My future husband’s 38-year-old brother and his pregnant 20-year-old girlfriend: Yikes! Dear Cary, I am thrilled to be getting married this spring to a wonderful man. My fiancé proposed last winter, and we have been planning our wedding for over a year. This is a big deal for us. We started dating in 1999, and have lived together...

Breaking Board

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Walking up to the cafe on Thursday morning the day before the Mavericks surf contest down the road at Pillar Point, remembering last night’s weather news about the buoys going off along the coast, watching the big surf, and I see a guy walking up the beach with half his board under each arm. “That’s not a good sign,” I say. “I’m just glad I got to shore,”...

Our person of the week: Terry Sue Harms

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Back in 2008, I had the good fortune to be introduced to Cary Tennis.  I was trying to make sense of a novel length story I had been working on for two years.  I was self-conscious and insecure about what I had produced, and those insecurities were all but squeezing the life out of my creativity.  I didn’t believe I qualified as a writer, but a story came to me with such compelling force that I...

Is my boyfriend the enemy?

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I am writing to you because I feel like I have landed myself in a situation where it is impossible for me to maintain either my happiness or my integrity, and I am hoping that you will be able to give some firm yet sympathetic advice.  I have often read your column when it was...

Of demented parents and my brother’s pants

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  My father died. My mom has Alzheimer’s. My brother wears his trousers too high.   Cary’s archival column from MAY 1, 2011   Dear Cary, I love my brother dearly. We’re 13 months apart, but I feel like he’s my twin. We survived our parents’ horrible marriage. We’ve both been very successful and have accumulated quite a bit of wealth, so we live comfy lives. I left my birth state to...

Let the revolutionary self speak

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by Kyoko Ide Revolution. I feel such resistance towards it. Why? I feel fear, I get tense, I feel like I have to find the right, proper words and expressions that wouldn’t offend anybody, so that my revolutionary self wouldn’t get criticized. But that’s not revolutionary at all. How come I feel like I have to protect myself and guard myself when I try to let my revolutionary...

Let the revolutionary self speak

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The world turns, and as it turns, people who could once keep to their feet and balance their weight against the motion, who learned to drink and dance and cook a meal while effortlessly poised against the turning of the world, these people suddenly found themselves thrown down to the ground, their plates and cups dashed from their hands, their feet hopelessly tangled, their heads broken and their...

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