Archive

March 2014

I’m a gay man in a small town working at a gas station. So?

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column Tuesday, Mar 18, 2008 I have a feeling maybe I should move to the city, but I like my job, I like my town and I like my family. Dear Cary, I have several concurrent problems for you. Bet you can’t wait. Firstly, my job … I work in a small gas station as a cashier...

My boyfriend’s climbing partner let him fall

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Apr 20, 2007 Accidents happen. He was inexperienced. But he’s not owning up. In fact he’s sort of acting like a dick! Cary, My longtime boyfriend and I went on a holiday in Colorado with a bunch of others, which included ice-climbing practice. My...

He’s sober but he steals hotel towels!

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Cary, I’m dating a man but I’m uncomfortable with some of his behaviors. He is about eight years sober and attends Alcoholics Anonymous regularly. He and I dated about four years ago and I adored him but couldn’t tolerate some of his bad behavior so the relationship ended. He seems to have grown a lot in the last four years and I was excited and hopeful to give the relationship...

My creepy dad emails too much

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column fromWednesday, Nov 21, 2012 He was a terrible father and I want him out of my life Hi, Cary, Growing up, my dad was verbally and emotionally abusive.  He became physically abusive toward my brother but stuck to mind games with my mother and me.  In eighth...

My parents owe me money

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column fromWednesday, Nov 10, 2010 I loaned them a large sum and they haven’t paid me back. Should I demand payment? Dear Cary, I am struggling with whether to ask my parents to repay a loan I made to them several years ago. I am a 40-year-old professional, living on...

My reading is private–so why start reviewing novels?

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Into my awareness a few weeks ago came this strange, unbidden thought: My reading is private. I don’t really want to talk with you about the books I love. I just want to love them in my own way. I mean, I like you and you’re interesting to me, but the reading I do is mine, all mine, and I don’t even all that much want to share it. Is that bad of me? The truth is full of paradox...

How do I show her I’m serious?

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    [button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Dear Cary, I have been reading your column, particularly your relationship advice for so long that sometimes the stories mirror my own hopelessly romantic life with such accuracy I’m convinced a significant other wrote it. Thank you for sharing your insight in...

Allergies can be deadly

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Aug 24, 2004 My husband keeps poisoning our son … and then he says, Whoops, I forgot! Dear Cary, I am very happily married, with three wonderful children my husband and I are both besotted with. My husband and I treat each other with genuine respect and...

Where are all the journalists now that we need them?

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Journalists are like firemen. They aren’t needed all the time. But when they’re needed, they’re needed fast and you need a lot of them. They have to do a lot of things all at once. And it helps if they know each other too, so they don’t fall all over each other and make a mess. I think the San Francisco City College closure threat makes it clear what happens when a city...

What a tragedy it would be if City College were to close

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On Thursday nights I play music with some friends while my wife, Norma, takes a singing class at City College. Norma has taken classes there for years. She has studied painting, Russian, Italian and other things. City College has been a great life-enriching place for her. She is smart. She knows the value of a community college in a city as rich and varied as San Francisco. She has taken full...

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