Bullet-point list of bullet points

Advice: Only bullet points now?

  • Thought: Can advice column be written in bullet-point form?
    • If yes, how?
    • Possible methods:
      • Brainstorm ideas
      • Use flow chart method
        • i.e. if my boyfriend does not love me I will:
          • go to grad school
          • trash his paperbacks
          • get a therapist
            • how to get a therapist
              • gather list of possible therapists
              • use insurance company list
                • ask friends for referrals
                  • if no friends, ask cousin for friend referral in order to make friend
                    • make friend
                      • make friend? how?
                        • have dinner together
                        • go to movies
                        • introduce to family
                • look online
                  • judge therapist effectiveness by thumbnail head shot
                  • look at school attended
                  • if Yale, think twice
                  • why worry about Yale?
                  • bullet-point list starting to teeter
                    • note to self: reconsider exclusive use of bullet points lists for advice column
                • look in Yellow Pages to find therapist. How?
                  • travel back to 1983
                  • find discarded Yellow Pages books in abandoned East Oakland apartment
                  • see if therapists listed in 1983 Yellow Pages book are still:
                    • practicing
                    • accepting insurance
                    • breathing
                • (note to self: see therapist about weird attitude toward Yale)
              • pick five who appeal for some unknown reason
              • ask if they take insurance
              • ask about sliding scale
              • ask if they are recovering addicts
              • ask about favorite passage from c.g. jung
                • if prospective therapist’s favorite passage from c.g. jung matches yours, make appointment
                • if therapist asks, “c.g.jung: was that a former client of mine?” keep looking
          • Just do random things commonly referred to as “doing a geographic”
            • move to Milwaukee
            • move to Vietnam and do long-distance relationship
          • Do random things commonly referred to as “acting out”
            • Sleep with his best friend
            • Sleep with his brother
            • Sleep with his brother’s best friend
          • go back to grad school
            • Write to Cary asking whether to go back to grad school
  • Note to self: write journal article on appropriateness of bullet-point list as advice-column format
    • Consider pluses and minuses
      • Pluses
        • less long columns of unbroken text
        • fewer total words
        • like shape of bullet points
        • could become new, sleeker, faster communication method
          • recall other newer sleeker forms
            • semaphor
            • smoke signals
            • research effectiveness and longevity of those forms
      • Minuses
        • vague feeling not getting to root of problem
        • suspect him just fooling around?
          • past instances of him just fooling around?
          • is he really just fooling around?
          • why?
          • maybe he just wants to have fun?
          • is he honestly trying to change or is he making fun of the internet
          • (note to self: research methods of making fun of internet)
          • key to fundamental nature?
          • just a fluke?
          • language poetry?
      • more research needed.