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What is it about bullet points?
- I thought I should write everything in bullet points because
- I was worried about Internet attention spans
- Also just having fun
- Then I decided bullet points were stupid because
- they debase language
- they are very very boring
- they don’t tell a story
- they are just a summary
- a summary is like an obituary
- sitting in a corporate meeting is like going to a funeral
- we’re watching something die when we’re using bullet points
- doesn’t the term “bullet” clue you in?
- So … are you doing the column or not?
- I want to do it but there are considerations:
- Can I afford to work on it four to six hours a day?
- Can I dedicate my life to it like I used to?
- If I can’t give it everything I have, is it still right to do it?
- Is there a danger it will slowly decline?
- Didn’t Seinfeld do the right thing by quitting at the top?
- What about my other literary interests?
- Short Fiction
- The Novel
- Poetry
- Literary reviews
- Spoken Word
- Performance
- I want to do it but there are considerations:
- Publish something every day even if it’s not done?
- What is “done”?
- Is “done” an antiquated construct?
- Where is the boundary between literary product and conversation?
- Hard to tell, right?
- Yep. hard to tell.
- Maybe we’re in a new world
- Duh, dude! Where have you been?
- I was on the Internet
- Yeah, but at Salon
- What’s that supposed to mean?
- Are you kidding? Salon was always behind because it was started by journalists, not by engineers.
- That sounds like some kind of heresy.
- It’s the friggin’ truth, dude.
- So is this still bullet points?
- There’s bullets, aren’t there?
- Yes but this seems like it’s getting discursive or narrative-like.
- No, this is dialog.
- Sorry.
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- Hey. It looks like there are two bullet points there
- That symbolizes dialog.
- Sure. Right.
- Just kidding
- Who are you anyway?
- You mean who am I talking to?
- Yeah.
- Yourself?
- Maybe. You sound different from me though.
- Yeah. I am different from you. I am your smarter faster quicker less bullshit-laden self.
- If you’re different from me, though, who am I?
- Yeah. I am different from you. I am your smarter faster quicker less bullshit-laden self.
- Maybe. You sound different from me though.
- Yourself?
- You’re Older You. Or Older Me. I forget which
- Oh.
- Is that all you can say? “Oh.”?
- No it just sounded kind of harsh.
- Like I said: Duh.
- Meaning?
- Meaning get with the program, slow old dude me.
- Are we still doing bullet points?
- No. Now we’re having a dialog.
- How old are you anyway?
- I’m 27.
- Oh. I’m 61.
- Wow. You’re old, dude.
- Hey. Easy.
- I’m your 27-year-old self. The self that would have studied coding instead of literature if you were my age now.
- You think?
- Absolutely. You were looking for the new world. This is it. This world we’re creating.
- You’re creating.
- We’re creating.
- But I’m 61.
- Like I said, I’m your 27-year-old self come back to haunt you and let you know what’s going on.
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Oh, thanks. Should I forget the bullet points now?
Yeah. Afraid so. Just follow me. Do what I do.
OK.
Have to stop now
Out of bullets.