Archive

March 2015

Adventure calls me but not my boyfriend

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I have an offer to study in the Arctic, but I’d have to leave my boyfriend behind. Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, MAY 2, 2006 Dear Cary, I am at a crossroads in life and it is difficult. I have been working since high school, building my résumé. I finished my Ph.D., and have had a...

9/11: “You weren’t there so you don’t know”

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My friend saw the second plane hit. Does that give him a superior view of global politics? Cary’s classic column  Monday, Sep 20, 2010 Dear Cary, A good friend of mine, let’s call him Joe, witnessed the second plane hit the building on Sept. 11. He shares his stories about huddling in a building lobby with others as the debris and dust came down around them and shared stories of people crying and...

Help! I’m committing professional suicide!

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I know what to do and how to do it but I’m paralyzed! Soon my whole work life is going to come crashing down! (Cary’s classic column from Friday, March 7, 2008) Dear Cary, It may be too late for me. I’m committing professional suicide. I see exactly what I’m doing, and I can’t stop...

My dad’s become a crazed right-winger

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] He’s a Vietnam vet and a retired civil servant. Now his mind’s been warped by Fox News! He’s gone Obama-nuts! (Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAY 19, 2010) Dear Cary, I am writing because I am feeling more and more estranged from my father in the last few years, and I would like...

My mother-in-law is a difficult person

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She puts me down, she pops in, she meddles, she scorns, she does the backhanded compliment … need some help here! Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, MAR 19, 2007 Dear Cary, I am not one for hate or grudges. I dislike how they make me feel. Despite my flaws, I have always had a great capacity for empathy. This is perhaps why it is so distressing to me that I have finally found someone I have...

Top 10 Ways that 2 hours 54 minutes on the phone with Comcast and Motorola tech support can, if viewed from a certain angle, seem weirdly blissful

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10) Surrender. There’s no escape. 9) Never spent this much time restarting the network; maybe it’s the Second Coming. 8) “That is correct, sir. Thank you very much for that, sir” starts to sound like a yogic chant. 7) Not so much time on hold; it’s all time spent actually talking to actual people about possibly nonexistent things. 6) Saying “sorry, I gotta...

My boyfriend wants me to move, my daughter wants me to stay

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Should I pick up and move four hours away to be with the man I love? Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, MAR 19, 2007 Dear Cary, I have to make a decision and I need your help. Decisions have never been my forte, but for the past 11 years I’ve been able to make them pretty well because I had a kid. When you have a kid you make decisions that will help the kid. As much as possible. So I went back...

I gave up everything to be with my Russian husband and now I’m unhappy

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I am a New Yorker living like a prisoner in London. Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JAN 29, 2007 Dear Cary, I’m American. My husband is Russian. We’re in our 30s, married about two and a half years, and live in London, where my husband is pursuing a Ph.D. We got married so I could stay here with him — in other words, my five-year residency here with permission to work is based on our marriage...

Our new friend is a racist — should we dump him?

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My husband and he have so much in common — but his beliefs are pernicious and wrong! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JAN 3, 2008 Dear Cary, My husband and I live in a small town in the same rural area of northern New England where he grew up. I grew up in a suburban setting in southern New England, but I have lived here my entire adult life — more than three decades now. (I’m 49, my...

How do you escape a scary love affair with a powerful married man who is your professional superior, and abusive, and dangerous?

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Dear Cary, I’m a young woman who moved to the US a few years ago to do my PhD (I am currently in another country for a post-doc). I’m in a very difficult situation, I feel so desperate and depressed, like there’s no way out. For more than 2 years I have been in a relationship with a married man, who was my PhD advisor (I eventually switched advisors so that he wouldn’t...

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