10) Surrender. There’s no escape.
9) Never spent this much time restarting the network; maybe it’s the Second Coming.
8) “That is correct, sir. Thank you very much for that, sir” starts to sound like a yogic chant.
7) Not so much time on hold; it’s all time spent actually talking to actual people about possibly nonexistent things.
6) Saying “sorry, I gotta pee” actually seems to speed things up.
5) Let the shoulders down. Let the shoulders down. Let the shoulders down.
4) You get to say almost covertly hostile things like “It’s been interesting spending the afternoon with Comcast” and “Well, we’ve been on the phone for 43 minutes now, do you need a break?”
3) Restarting and restarting and restarting the Xfinity Technicolor gateway makes you realize just how amazing our telecommunications infrastructure is — until you try to use it.
2) Making friends all over the world: Isn’t that really what it’s all about?
The Number One Way that 2 hours 54 minutes on the phone with Comcast and Motorola tech support can, if viewed from a certain angle, seem weirdly blissful:
1) Those flashy flashing blue, red and green lights are making me feel … very … suggestible …