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May 2015

On not taking pictures of extravagantly beautiful things, or Florence: Day 3

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Is it the restraint of love? Is it reverence? Amid the effervescent joy of buildings that look like music; the muscular formality of a 50-foot-high gate on an ancient wall; the fleeting intoxication of wafting jasmine: Why, exactly, amid these things, do I feel the contrary impulses to stop and snap an iPhoto yet  not snap an iPhoto? It’s reverence is what it is, no? Reverential surrender...

In Florence. Italianate facades. Espresso on Magenta and Corso Italia and a boy with a harmonica

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Kids are beautiful in cities. They ain’t been ground up yet. There’s harmonicas. After grueling San Francisco-Paris-Florence flight we ride the tiny Pensione Crocini elevator to the tall windows on the courtyard, wash, nap, then espresso at the cafe and luxuriating in the beautiful visual rhythm of the Italianate style, the beautiful rhythm of spring on the Arno, which is rushing past...

How do I know if I’m an alcoholic?

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] There are certain signs that I have a problem with alcohol, but nothing terrible has happened so far. Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, MAY 27, 2005 Dear Cary, You write so eloquently about alcoholism and drinking problems in so many of your columns that I hope you can help me. I’m...

Strong and weak

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m involved with a married woman who has been abused by her husband. What should I do? Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Feb 3, 2004 Dear Cary, I recently got involved with a married woman. We had been good friends for quite some time. There was an immediate emotional connection upon...

I fell for a younger guy and now my head is spinning

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]  I’m a wife, a mother and a doctoral candidate. I’m not the kind of person this happens to. What the hell am I doing? Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, OCT 6, 2008 Hi Cary, I’m a 28-year-old doctoral student, wife and mother; it’s a life I would’ve described once as busy, happy and...

I’m a singer — but I drift from waitress job to waitress job

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 I don’t know how to settle down. But I’m almost 30 and don’t want to waste my life! Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, OCT 3, 2008 Dear Cary, I’ve written to so many advice columnists and no one ever answers. I am plagued by problems — for years. In general, what the hell is the deal with me? I was so blithe and great and happy in childhood — but ever since I was, oh, 15, things have gone...

I work with a guy I don’t understand

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] He’s a gay person of color, but he’s against the minimum wage! Cary’s classic column from  Sunday, THURSDAY, JUL 21, 2005 Dear Cary, I have been at my current position as an attorney at a law firm for less than a year. Although I work at a rather typical big law firm, I am a committed...

I’m infatuated at work

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from  Sunday, Oct 10, 2010 Drawn to a younger woman, I fear I’ll make a fool of myself Dear Cary, I am a man in my late 50s. I’ve been married for over 30 years and still love my wife deeply, although our marriage is largely sexless. However, recently I’ve become...

My father was murdered by my former next-door neighbor — and I’m supposed to just get over it?

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 I’m having a rough time; I’d like some justice and some peace. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, OCT 2, 2008 Dear Cary, I am not sure where to start or even if I should be writing to you. I have been struggling with something, and at times I think that I have it beaten enough and that asking for help is just useless whining for attention. At other times, it rears up, and I think that it may...

My boyfriend is my boss

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, NOV 23, 2009 I’m getting sick of being “the editor’s girlfriend” Dear Cary, I’m a college student and a reporter for my university’s paper. I’m a good writer — my work has shown up in publications beyond the university, and since arriving here I’ve...

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