Archive

June 2015

The cat in my flat must go back

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Aug 3, 2010 I do not love this cat. I do not like this cat. I want to slap this cat. Can’t I send it back, this cat? Dear Cary, I recently adopted a young cat from the animal shelter. She’s very sweet and loving and is really not all that badly...

My mother is dying — how will I bear it?

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I know it’s inevitable, but I can’t imagine how to get through it Dear Cary, I’m writing because I love your advice and follow your column avidly. I don’t have the time or focus to make this pithy. I’ve always envisioned writing you a clever and insightful letter someday, and this ain’t it. In a nutshell: I just learned my mother has a deadly cancer, her second round in two years. Despite what...

Letter from Italy

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It’s strange, isn’t it, the ideas we get as children that we carry into adulthood, ideas we  keep secret, ideas that keep us from doing certain things like dancing or singing or speaking in public, that keep us from even admitting that we cannot do something or do not know something? Isn’t it strange how we will make up a story to cover up, like, Oh, I don’t dance, or Oh...

Help! I’m getting older!

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m not ready for cats and pottery class, but I don’t know how to deal with the fear. Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, FEB 7, 2006 Dear Cary, I find myself pondering the notion of dating again after the demise of a long-term relationship. I’m female and in my late 30s, and I find...

I’m an absent-minded engineer; my mind wanders and so does my wallet

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I fear I lack common sense in life, and this affects my performance. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 24, 2008 Dear Cary, How does one build common sense? I’m a 31-year-old who has been plagued for most of my adult life with this problem. I’m a software engineer by trade, but I really love the theoretical aspects more than the practical aspects: algorithms and design as opposed to...

Will I ever find happiness in the U.S.?

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I could not have stayed in my country of birth, but I feel like my life in America is just unlucky Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 1, 2010 Dear Cary, I am so glad you are back. Thank you for still caring deeply for others while you are battling your health issues. I really need...

Advice for Writers: 10 Fun Things to do with that nasty inner critic that is trying to murder you

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10) Rudely talk over her. 9) Ignore her and when she doesn’t go away keep ignoring her until nightfall. 8) Listen to her and look for possible kernels of truth in what she says. 7) Regard her with mute compassion as a split-off part of the self. 6) Get used to what she’s saying and tune her out like a bad radio. 5) Pause in your writing until she has had her full say and then continue...

Afraid to drink at the wedding

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Dear Cary, I’ve been off and on, but mostly on, alcohol for over 20 years. Currently on. About eight months ago, I was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend I’ve known since kindergarten. We’ve stayed close through the years but I was rather surprised by the request.  Come to find out this will be a lavish affair; I am one of 12 bridesmaids and God knows how many other members...

Letter to a friend, with a poem at the end

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Dear … I thought of you just now. I am sitting in this renovated 13th-century Italian convent between Rome and Florence, a short walk up from the train station, and your face  drifted into view. There were a lot of people here for ten days but they all left on the train today. I suppose suddenly being alone was one reason I thought of you. There had been little time to really think. Now I am...

I’m pulled like taffy in two different directions

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My first boyfriend is no dime, plus he broke my heart — but I feel the old attraction Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Sep 2, 2010 Hi Cary, I’m an avid reader of your column and on more then one occasion have been found at my desk nodding and pointing in agreement with your thoughtful advice. So I thought you would be perfect for this problem. I’m 24 and have been in a “serious”...

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