Category

Since You Asked (the column)

Dog talk: Animal Communications Dept.

D

Dear Cary, I met an animal communicator a few years ago, read the books she recommended on the subject, and was surprised to get verifiable results with several different creatures. (“Tell Carl I need my green ball, please,” and “The full moon is in three days.”) Now I am running out of things to talk about with my main communicatee, a dog. Do you have suggestions...

Quarantined at Dad’s deathbed: Too much loss all at once

Q

Dear Cary, Thanks for writing about grief. I’ve been grieving too, and any interpretation of grief helps me feel connected. I hope your lungs feel full of air for however you grieve. Telling stories or wailing that losses are always unfair or cycling uphill or laughing at a broken cup. I wonder what you think about change and upheaval. How do we put back together relationships strained by...

My friends talk my ear off and don’t listen to me

M

Dear reader, After last week’s column about emotional pain and suicide I wanted to write a nice lighthearted column. So I looked for a nice, lighthearted letter like I used to get sometimes at Salon. Couldn’t find one. Just people in deep pain. All over the world, people in pain, uncomfortable, forced to change, give up routines, give up comforts, face fragility,  precariousness, lack of...

Learning from pain (how not to kill yourself)

L

Hi Cary, My name is Tremayne and I’m an 18-year-old from Queensland, Australia and I feel like I’ve hit the pinnacle of my depression. I used to be the most happy person in the world. Even when things went to shit I would always put on a smile (even during the COVID-19) and make a joke like nothing matters. I’m always prepared for anything and like life it drags me down when I...

Stuck in the house with the kids!

S

Dear Cary, What is difficult for me and my husband is having our two quite loud and active boys with us the whole day, every day. I have such a longing for being alone. Here in Germany we are allowed to go outside, but not meet with other people who are not part of our household. I am very glad we have a forest very near. The kids and I go there daily. Also we have a small garden with a...

Advice Column No. 3: On grief

A

Dear Reader, Yesterday I texted an old friend and mentor in San Francisco, a person who has been dear to me, who has guided me through the spiritual wilderness into which I will occasionally wander in moments of loss or grief or fear. I texted him to get in touch, no big thing, it’s been a while, I’ve been living in Italy for over four years now, and the reply was, “Is this...

Everything I Know About Entrepreneurs I Learned from Drug Dealers

E

Dear Cary, I’m writing a book based on my day job where I have access to all kinds of sensitive information. It is about the parallels between criminals and business people and I’ve named it, “Everything I Know About Entrepreneurs I Learned from Drug Dealers.”  I’ve been privy to a lot of behind-the-scenes situations including going on ride-alongs with various federal...

Love in the lockdown: Why is my wife eyeing the kitchen knives?

L

Dear reader, I’ve missed you. So I’m writing the Since You Asked column again. Remember the first one, October 17, 2001? My answer began like this: “We’re all on unfamiliar ground after Sept. 11.” So welcome back to the unfamiliar. Write to me. I need letters. Tell me your troubles. Don’t worry about the anonymity thing. I’ll never tell anybody. This first letter was a funny letter, so I’ve...

I’m filled with rage

I

A classic column from TUESDAY, SEP 27, 2005  It’s political, it’s personal — I just wanna clobber the people in charge! Dear Cary, I have an emotional problem. I walk around with a rage inside me that I don’t know how to address. I fantasize about things that, were I to describe them to you, I would be visited by black-suited men at my apartment one night and, if not taken away, at least...

Recent Posts

Recent Comments