Category

betrayal

Is my boyfriend cheating on me?

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Hi Cary, I have huge trust issues and it’s affecting my relationship with my partner of 3 years. My trust issues have stemmed from my childhood for many different reasons and to top it off, last year I found out my step dad had been abusing me. My partner has never given me a reason to not trust him. He says he has his morals and knows deep down he has never done anything wrong. His dad cheated...

I want to tell his wife about our affair

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  Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Mar 13, 2011 The man I love is deceiving his wife and I think she should know what kind of man she’s married to Dear Cary, I fell in love with an amazing, complicated man. He has a young child with an ex and he was living in the United States illegally. And he had a girlfriend. We became friends gently, over a long period of time. I’ve never had such an...

I feel awful about my affair

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAY 2, 2012 It was stupid, cruel and unsatisfying, and now I’m miserable Dear Cary, I really need you to tell me how to forgive myself, and how to carry on after I had an affair. I’m sorry if this ends up really long and please edit however you need to. Basically, I have been married for 15 years to a man who really is a fundamentally excellent person. We...

How should I feel toward my father?

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Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Jul 20, 2011 I thought I knew him. Then he loaded up his U-Haul Cary, I had a really boring suburban life for a long time, wishing that something would make it interesting. I had a good relationship with my family and I thought that my parents would stay together forever. Then we got hit with a hurricane. After the hurricane I spent a lot more time talking to...

I threw out my girlfriend’s mementos

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Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, SEP 28, 2009 I tried to retrieve her photos from the Dumpster but they were gone! What have I done? Dear Cary, My girlfriend and I have been together for five years, and although the beginning was a bit rocky, things are great now. Our setbacks were mainly due to my commitment avoidance. So, we’ve been living together now for six months, and I’ve started to …...

Why did you skip the funeral?

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  Cary’s classic column from Monday, Aug 23, 2010 A tragic death among deeply close friends: Her burial was like a ghost town Dear Cary, I want to say, first of all, that I am so happy to hear of your recovery. I always look forward to reading your thoughtful responses to letters. I have, perhaps, many things I’d like to ask for advice about but for now I will get to the most pressing and...

Bent rules

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, MAY 25, 2004 My boyfriend and I decided we could kiss other people, but he went further. What should I do? Dear Cary, I have been with the same man for more than six years. We met in high school, our relationship survived college and living together as recent grads. About six months ago, my boyfriend moved to another city, five hours away. The long-distance...

How to let go of old resentments

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 8, 2010 My husband and my brother are estranged because of a business deal Dear Cary, Earlier this year, around the time of your cancer diagnosis, you wrote about letting go of a long-held resentment. I am particularly interested in this topic because of a family conflict that has gone on for years in an understated way. Whenever it interferes with my life...

Bad things

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 14, 2004 I looked at my girlfriend’s text messages and found out she was in touch with an ex. Can we ever trust each other? Dear Cary, I have been in a relationship with a woman for a little over four months. In pretty much every respect, it has been absolutely incredible. We spend every night together, we share a lot of common interests, we are alike in...

I’m hanging by my fingernails — but it feels good!

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, AUG 1, 2005 I’ve got this situation with my husband that’s really rough. Maybe I should move on? Dear Cary – My husband wants to go visit his lovers. And I’m strongly considering moving on. My husband has been cultivating a relationship with two men...

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