Category

Guilt

I feel awful about my affair

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAY 2, 2012 It was stupid, cruel and unsatisfying, and now I’m miserable Dear Cary, I really need you to tell me how to forgive myself, and how to carry on after I had an affair. I’m sorry if this ends up really long and please edit however you need to. Basically, I have been married for 15 years to a man who really is a fundamentally excellent person. We...

My mom left my dad in a nursing home and lied about his chances of coming home

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, AUG 22, 2008 02:50 AM PDT He thought he’d be returning home to die. But she just strung him along until he was gone. Dear Cary: My elderly father had been ill. After improving, he went directly from the hospital into a nursing home. We never told him he was never coming home. My mother said keeping up some sort of illusion of his eventual return was a way to...

My brother brutally murdered two people

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAR 2, 2011 Should I approach his victims’ families? Can I help in any way? Dear Cary, My brother brutally murdered two people and now faces the death penalty. There are many issues I am dealing with so this really jumps around a lot but it is the...

My next-door neighbor died and I didn’t do a thing

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAR 29, 2006 Am I a terrible person, or just a normal American? Dear Cary, Before I begin, I want to preface this by explaining that by nature, I’m a fairly shy person. I hate calling people, I hate confrontation; I prefer to keep to myself. It takes...

My aunt lent me money … with one condition

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I desperately needed money so I agreed to her terms, but I find them chilling and bizarre  Cary’s classic column from  Sunday, Nov 21, 2010 Dear Cary, Almost 10 years ago my wealthy aunt loaned me some money. I have not seen or spoken to this aunt in many years now, nor have I repaid the...

I should have gone to my aunt’s funeral

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I could have gone, I should have gone, but I thought about the money and my other plans! Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 25, 2008 Dear Cary, I just got done listening to this beautiful essay on NPR. Someone wrote in to say, “Always Go to the Funeral.” I’m writing you because I...

I forgot to tell my wife I have a 12-year-old daughter

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUL 8, 2005 I fathered a child when I was a screwed-up loser and kept it secret all these years. Dear Cary, Boy, did I screw up. About 13 years ago, I fell for a friend of my sister’s and got her pregnant. I was at this point in my life a loser. I had...

I feed the poor but eat with the rich

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, AUG 21, 2007 We do our Christian charity and then drink mimosas at a fancy hotel up the street. And that just seems so wrong!   Dear Cary, A few months back, I joined a church group that goes to a homeless shelter once a month to prepare...

My boyfriend lied about his debts and now he’s couch surfing

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Monday, Oct 6, 2003 But he’s an artist. Should I boot him? Dear Cary, My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year — my longest and best male/male relationship. Right before we met, he quit his lucrative job in retail to go back to school...

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