Category

marriage

My husband is slowly killing himself

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Dear Cary, I feel helpless.  My husband almost died two weeks ago.  I coerced him to the ER at the last minute where he collapsed trying to get in the door.  Once in there, he vomited so much blood all over me and all over the ER room that it looked like a crime scene.  I didn’t realize he had been in pain for quite some time.  He was diagnosed with an illness and spent a week in ICU, then...

Love in the lockdown: Why is my wife eyeing the kitchen knives?

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Dear reader, I’ve missed you. So I’m writing the Since You Asked column again. Remember the first one, October 17, 2001? My answer began like this: “We’re all on unfamiliar ground after Sept. 11.” So welcome back to the unfamiliar. Write to me. I need letters. Tell me your troubles. Don’t worry about the anonymity thing. I’ll never tell anybody. This first letter was a funny letter, so I’ve...

Do I love my wife enough?

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, MAR 4, 2005 I’m a middle child, abandoned by my eldest brother. Did I marry just for security? Dear Cary, I am the third of five children. My oldest brother, by six years, ran away from home repeatedly during his teenage years. When he finally reached adulthood he flew the coop for good. As far as I know, my parents weren’t abusive, irresponsible or neglectful...

Hard choice: Husband or job?

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  Cary’s classic column from Monday, Apr 16, 2012 We’re 4,000 miles apart. He wants me to join him but I don’t want to sit around the house Dear Cary, I got married about three months ago to a man I truly love and respect. We are both doctorates in the same field in the sciences. We’ve always been long distance — we met in undergrad, seven years ago, but started dating only three years ago...

My children were abused

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Cary’s classic column from  Monday, Aug 12, 2013 I live with an awful history, and sometimes it is too much for me Dear Cary, I am writing with a problem that makes my heart physically ache. Let me briefly lay the groundwork first, and then I will present the problem. I was married for almost 20 years to a man who had three children from his first marriage. We had three more ourselves, and I...

My husband is making me suspicious

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Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JUL 17, 2006 He’s e-mailing an ex-girlfriend and chatting with strange women — and he gets defensive when I mention it. Dear Cary, I can’t tell if I’m paranoid or justified at this point, and maybe you won’t be able to tell, either, but I guess I just need someone else to think about this for a minute, because I’m exhausted. I’ve been married for 13 years...

Faking it

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUN 4, 2004 Can I stop him from going by pretending to come? Dear Cary, I am an attractive young woman who is married to a man I love and trust very much. I love sharing my life with my husband, coming home and telling stories of our day, cooking dinner together, going on trips together, laughing, bitching, cuddling, hiking, shopping, and having adventures...

Fear of fat

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Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, APR 12, 2004 I am going to marry a man I love, but he says if I gain a lot of weight he might leave me. Dear Cary, I am engaged to a fantastic person. For the first time I feel I am with someone who loves me for who I am, and not for who they want me to be. He loves it all, the good and the ugly, and that leaves me feeling very at ease in this relationship. I...

I left an abusive marriage, and now I’m in love with a thief

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, DEC 12, 2007 If we move in together, should I buy a safe? Hi Cary, I recently escaped a long-term (by today’s standards), abusive marriage. I’ve done remarkably well for myself, I think, and I feel like I have my shit together. I became reacquainted with an old friend about a year after my divorce, and we became a couple. He’s everything my ex was not: kind...

The honeymoon’s over

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, APR 28, 2004 I’ve been a wife for a week, but I already feel taken for granted. Dear Cary, Well, well, well, here I am, barely married a week. He’s the most kind, calm, sweet person I’ve ever met. Considerate, caring — you know, all those things for...

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