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Sex

Is sex a “disgusting, wicked drive”?

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Dear reader, Sometimes a comment on a column can sound like a cry of agony, and a cry of agony can sound like a question. So today I respond to the below comment, posted on last week’s column. The author apparently read my 2006 Salon.com column on suicide which after 15 years still attracts fresh readers and comments. (The comments section is still open!) Ugly hunchback May 17, 2021 at 9:39...

The Massage Parlor Murders: What can you do?

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This is not an advice column. This is commentary. Robert Aaron Long, 21 years old, of  Woodstock, Georgia, was arrested Tuesday in the murders of eight people, six of whom were women of Asian descent working in massage parlors. Initial media reports indicated that he claimed he did it because he was a sex addict. Sex addiction is not a trivial matter. But right now his claim feels like a...

I’m normal, but …

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 7, 2004 I’m a healthy 26-year-old man and I’ve never had sex. Should I tell my girlfriend? Dear Cary, I’m a healthy 26-year-old male, normal in most ways physiologically and mentally. As far as I can tell, I’m a funny, bright guy people tend to gravitate toward, and I’m as sociable and interactive as anyone. I’ve never been especially big on the so-called...

Faking it

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUN 4, 2004 Can I stop him from going by pretending to come? Dear Cary, I am an attractive young woman who is married to a man I love and trust very much. I love sharing my life with my husband, coming home and telling stories of our day, cooking dinner together, going on trips together, laughing, bitching, cuddling, hiking, shopping, and having adventures...

I’m 32 already. Time to get married!

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, SEP 25, 2009 I’m tired of fooling around with guys who just want one thing Dear Cary, I’m still single at 32 and hate it. I absolutely want to find and fall in love with a man I can spend the rest of my life with. The problem is, I keep ruining things by sleeping with men too soon, often right away. And each time I make this mistake, I am left even more...

Big 4-0

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, NOV 18, 2002 I have a wonderful daughter but no love or romance, and life just sucks. Dear Cary, So, I just turned 40. So far, it sucks, thank you very much. There’s something about a “magic number” birthday like 40 that brings the suckiness of one’s...

I found a girl in my son’s bed

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 30, 2009 I don’t think I’m comfortable with my 17-year-old bringing 16-year-old girls home — but what to do? Dear Cary: Last night I discovered my 17-year-old son brought a girl to stay the night. To say the least it was unexpected and I...

Is my son gay?

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUL 5, 2005 As a mom, I can’t help wondering — but is it any of my business? Dear Cary, I’m writing to you A) because I like your column, and B) because you were once a 20-year-old male. I’ve got one of them — a 20-year-old son, not a column —...

I want to leave my marriage but I’m afraid

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, Caitlyn Jenner recently made the poignant comment that, had she not transitioned, when the time came for her to die (as a man), she would have lain on her deathbed and thought, “I have blown my entire life.” I cannot stop thinking about that; it haunts me daily...

I’m a sad lil’ starfucker and can’t get him out of my head

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Dear Cary, My husband of 16 years and I have never made an official list, but it’s always been accepted that were we to have, in some fantasyland, the opportunity to sleep with a certain few adored famous people, the sin would be exonerated.  (I should mention here that over the years both of us have had our indiscretions with plain old normals, and while the aftermath has never been fun...

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