Category

Sexual abuse

Personal earthquake

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, APR 8, 2003 I’m in love with a man who was abused by a priest. Dear Cary, I am a relatively successful American gay man in my late 30s who has recently begun to live and work in Brussels, Belgium. I love my life here and I am quite excited by the work I do. I worked very hard to get here, and in many ways, being here is the culmination of many things for me —...

I’m still angry at my father — what happened in my childhood?

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, NOV 1, 2005 I have certain hazy memories that give me the creeps, but I really don’t know the truth. Dear Cary, I’ll try to make this short. I’m a 27-year-old man. I’ve blown every good relationship I have ever been in. Sometimes I wonder if my...

My brother abused me — now our parents want us all together again!

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, May 23, 2008 I would like to help them celebrate their 50th anniversary, but I dread being in the same room with that man. Dear Cary, When I was a teenager, I was sexually abused by my older brother. I’ve been through three different therapists trying...

I seem to be repeating patterns of abuse

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I’m a well-educated and intelligent woman, but childhood trauma has brought me to the edge of madness. Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JAN 10, 2005 Dear Cary, Ostensibly, I am a relatively well-educated, intelligent woman. I had a rough childhood. I was abused as a child; my usual punishment was caning, but my mother also pulled my hair and boxed my ears. I grew up minimizing the abuse. I was...

My sister’s stalker

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] He accosted her on the street and forced her into his car. She went to the police and they did nothing Cary’s classic column from Thursday, May 24, 2012 Dear Cary, My younger sister is a 21-year-old college student who is “trapped” in an abusive relationship with her ex-boyfriend, who is...

As a foster kid, I never learned to brush my teeth

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 15, 2010 I’m afraid to go into the bathroom, because of things that happened in childhood Dear Cary, You recently wrote about when “to change your life.” I think I’m there now. And it isn’t a problem with my problem that I’m writing about. Where I...

I’m finished with my family — but am I free of them?

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, OCT 19, 2005T Is this resolution or abandonment? Dear Cary: Thank you, first off, for being a unique voice in a somewhat crude, unsympathetic age. Here’s my problem in a nutshell: I’ve abandoned my family, and they’ve let me, and I can’t...

My husband abused my son

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  [button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, For three years I have grappled with how to write this letter. Cary, you are the only individual aside from my therapist that I can trust with my story. I have felt ashamed, frightened (all my secrets spread across the Internet) and strangely unable to write. But now I...

I have a secret I have to tell

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Monday, Mar 12, 2012   I’ve never told anyone what my dad did to me when I was 10. Should I just keep it bottled up? Dear Cary, Well first of all, man, I’ve never done something like this, ever, so it’s kinda scary. But here’s the deal. I’m a guy...

My molester financed my college education

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Archival column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 9, 2008 Now I’m depressed and suicidal and very few people know why. Cary, I am unsure of how to articulate the reason I am writing you. There is an F. Scott Fitzgerald quote, “In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning.” I have been experiencing a soul-crushing depression that I can only utter through vague quotes and...

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