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Cary Tennis

Once the kids are gone, I don’t want them coming back

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, NOV 4, 2005 My wife says returning home after college is the new normal — but if they return, I may have to leave. Dear Cary, I am 46 and the father of two children, ages 16 and 20 (juniors in college and high school, respectively). My wife and I married very young, had our kids a little earlier than expected, embraced it and made what we felt was the...

My live-in boyfriend’s spending a week with a chick he met on MySpace

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, SEP 26, 2008 I’m not real crazy about the idea. Should I be jealous? Dear Cary: I am writing to you because I need to hear an opinion from someone who does not already love me or think I’m amazing. I need objectivity, beautiful and philosophical objectivity. I have been dating a man (he’s 27, I’m 30) since January and we recently moved in together at his...

I want to tell his wife about our affair

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  Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Mar 13, 2011 The man I love is deceiving his wife and I think she should know what kind of man she’s married to Dear Cary, I fell in love with an amazing, complicated man. He has a young child with an ex and he was living in the United States illegally. And he had a girlfriend. We became friends gently, over a long period of time. I’ve never had such an...

I’m an artist about to explode

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Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 26, 2011 Don’t get in my face! I’ve made enough compromises Dear Cary, I can’t do everything and I am pissed off that I can’t. I am also preemptively pissed off at your peanut gallery since they trend anti-artist and tend to take a sadistic glee in other people’s hard knocks.  I just wanted to give them the middle finger before I get on with my letter...

Am I fickle?

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAR 5, 2003 I am exhilarated by the chase, but once I catch the girl I lose interest. Dear Cary, I’ve realized slowly over the last few months that I am one of those guys who is exhilarated by the chase but disappointed by the prize. My relationships never last for more than a few months because I lose interest in the poor girls so quickly once they’ve been...

My children were abused

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Cary’s classic column from  Monday, Aug 12, 2013 I live with an awful history, and sometimes it is too much for me Dear Cary, I am writing with a problem that makes my heart physically ache. Let me briefly lay the groundwork first, and then I will present the problem. I was married for almost 20 years to a man who had three children from his first marriage. We had three more ourselves, and I...

Where is my home?

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, APR 19, 2006 I’ve uprooted myself over and over again in a short time. Now I don’t know where I belong. Dear Cary, Two and a half years ago, I left New York to move to Chicago to be close to my family. I was burnt out from working too hard and my mother had breast cancer. I telecommuted from home and attended a seminary at night on weekends. I was happy. My...

I’m a condo parking-spot hoarder!

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, FEB 29, 2008 I have two spaces and only one car — but that doesn’t mean you can just use my spot! Dear Cary, I’ve lived in the same condominium complex off and on since the mid-’80s. I live in my family home, which I bought from my mother when she recently remarried. For 20-odd years, my townhouse has been full of family members, but since I bought it a...

I’ve been lying to my family: I never actually graduated!

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Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, AUG 4, 2008 I lied to shut them up but now I can hardly live with myself. Dear Cary, I need your advice on a problem of my own making. You see, I’m a liar: I’ve been lying to my parents, my sister and everyone I know, including my husband. I’m not lying about anything criminal or terribly immoral, but I have backed myself into a corner. I don’t have a college...

I resent my fiancé

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Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, SEP 24, 2007 I grew up dirt-poor, so I should be happy that my future husband has money, but I’m mad at him instead! Dear Cary, Hopefully you can help me sort out this weird contradiction inside me, which started shortly after becoming engaged. The man I am engaged to is everything I’ve always wanted to find, but after dating a long string of losers, I had...

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