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parents

I moved in with my daughter

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, SEP 27, 2011 Her husband died so I came to help. Now they act like I don’t exist Dear Mr. Tennis, I am a 65-year-old woman who has had a long and interesting life. During a particularly “interesting” time (think job loss, forced relocation, job search) I found myself estranged from my eldest child, a daughter 40 years of age, who had recently become part of a...

I’m not ready to be a stepmom

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JAN 13, 2009 If I marry, I get a 16-year-old who can barely take care of herself. Dear Cary, I’m 29 and my potential stepdaughter-to-be is 16. We live under the same roof, and it’s driving me crazy inside. Let’s rewind the story by six months to last July, when my boyfriend and I chanced upon a really nice flat with a magnificent sea view and decided to sort of...

Once the kids are gone, I don’t want them coming back

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, NOV 4, 2005 My wife says returning home after college is the new normal — but if they return, I may have to leave. Dear Cary, I am 46 and the father of two children, ages 16 and 20 (juniors in college and high school, respectively). My wife and I married very young, had our kids a little earlier than expected, embraced it and made what we felt was the...

I’ve been lying to my family: I never actually graduated!

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Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, AUG 4, 2008 I lied to shut them up but now I can hardly live with myself. Dear Cary, I need your advice on a problem of my own making. You see, I’m a liar: I’ve been lying to my parents, my sister and everyone I know, including my husband. I’m not lying about anything criminal or terribly immoral, but I have backed myself into a corner. I don’t have a college...

My brother left his girlfriend with a 5-month-old baby

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Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 30, 2007 They thought the baby would fix things, but he didn’t, so the dad split. Does that mean he’s no good? Dear Cary, Early this year, one of the greatest bright spots in my life occurred: I became an uncle. After 10 years of bleak family moments, we all finally had a moment of renewal. My older brother called me (I’m an expat and haven’t actually seen...

How should I feel toward my father?

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Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Jul 20, 2011 I thought I knew him. Then he loaded up his U-Haul Cary, I had a really boring suburban life for a long time, wishing that something would make it interesting. I had a good relationship with my family and I thought that my parents would stay together forever. Then we got hit with a hurricane. After the hurricane I spent a lot more time talking to...

My parents don’t like my boyfriend

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, AUG 9, 2005 We’d like to stay together, but I’m not sure I could handle the rift that would create. Dear Cary, I am a bright, personable woman in my late 20s who works full-time in a law firm and attends graduate school part-time. I am in love with a man who is a decade older than I am, a struggling musician and carpenter who has also found some very creative...

My mom left my dad in a nursing home and lied about his chances of coming home

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, AUG 22, 2008 02:50 AM PDT He thought he’d be returning home to die. But she just strung him along until he was gone. Dear Cary: My elderly father had been ill. After improving, he went directly from the hospital into a nursing home. We never told him he was never coming home. My mother said keeping up some sort of illusion of his eventual return was a way to...

I secretly hate myself

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, DEC 14, 2007 I seem to be OK on the outside, but inside … you don’t even want to know. Dear Cary, I have never written to an advice column before, and I chose you because although I sometimes disagree with your advice, I find I can never predict what that advice will be based on the advisee’s letter. Here’s my problem: I secretly hate myself. I know why...

My son is almost 30 and won’t leave home

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[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, SEP 4, 2007 I know I can’t support him anymore — I need to save for retirement. What do I do? Dear Cary, I’m a single mother with a grown son. I love him more than I can say. He’s a good person, a great guy in so many ways — smart, creative, kind...

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