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I’m normal, but …

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 7, 2004 I’m a healthy 26-year-old man and I’ve never had sex. Should I tell my girlfriend? Dear Cary, I’m a healthy 26-year-old male, normal in most ways physiologically and mentally. As far as I can tell, I’m a funny, bright guy people tend to gravitate toward, and I’m as sociable and interactive as anyone. I’ve never been especially big on the so-called...

It was a detonation wedding: Our friendship exploded

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAR 25, 2009 The groom said my husband is dead to him. The bride refused my package. Dear Cary, A good friend of mine invited my husband and me to her destination wedding. We were thrilled to be invited as she was a bridesmaid in our wedding, however, when we saw the price for four days we realized we couldn’t go. At her bridal shower, a mutual friend had...

Do I have to be a mommy to “opt out”?

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, APR 24, 2007 I’m crazy in love with my two sisters’ five kids. I feel like helping to raise them would give my life meaning. Dear Cary, My younger sisters each recently had two babies apiece — two boys on one side, two girls on the other side. There’s also a fantastic 7-year-old in the mix. I have, quite frankly, fallen in love with these children. I am not a...

Do I love my wife enough?

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Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, MAR 4, 2005 I’m a middle child, abandoned by my eldest brother. Did I marry just for security? Dear Cary, I am the third of five children. My oldest brother, by six years, ran away from home repeatedly during his teenage years. When he finally reached adulthood he flew the coop for good. As far as I know, my parents weren’t abusive, irresponsible or neglectful...

Hard choice: Husband or job?

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  Cary’s classic column from Monday, Apr 16, 2012 We’re 4,000 miles apart. He wants me to join him but I don’t want to sit around the house Dear Cary, I got married about three months ago to a man I truly love and respect. We are both doctorates in the same field in the sciences. We’ve always been long distance — we met in undergrad, seven years ago, but started dating only three years ago...

I moved in with my daughter

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, SEP 27, 2011 Her husband died so I came to help. Now they act like I don’t exist Dear Mr. Tennis, I am a 65-year-old woman who has had a long and interesting life. During a particularly “interesting” time (think job loss, forced relocation, job search) I found myself estranged from my eldest child, a daughter 40 years of age, who had recently become part of a...

Online-love confusion

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, AUG 19, 2003 It was long-distance magic. But look! It’s fading! And he won’t say what happened! Dear Cary, It was the day before two terrifying exams, and there I was — flipping back and forth between my spreadsheets and the personals. It was an online browse, so idle that I hadn’t even searched: I was just looking for men who were looking for women and who...

He owns me

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Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, APR 8, 2004 My boss is a nasty, sexist, arrogant man. How can I defend myself against his unreasonable behavior? Dear Cary, I hate my boss. He’s a horrible, old, mean, vain, nasty, sexist, arrogant man who yells and berates me and the rest of his staff constantly. I have a stomachache all day long while I’m working and often fantasize that he will die. There’s...

I’m not ready to be a stepmom

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Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JAN 13, 2009 If I marry, I get a 16-year-old who can barely take care of herself. Dear Cary, I’m 29 and my potential stepdaughter-to-be is 16. We live under the same roof, and it’s driving me crazy inside. Let’s rewind the story by six months to last July, when my boyfriend and I chanced upon a really nice flat with a magnificent sea view and decided to sort of...

Are men spoiled rotten?

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Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, AUG 1, 2007 Men in their 40s keep breaking up with me because they want to have a baby. How selfish. Dear Cary, The third relationship in a row has ended because the man I was dating suddenly decided he wants children of his own. I’m 47 and the men were about my age. All said at the start they wanted a serious, long-term relationship, then Boom! They love me...

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