This is not an advice column. This is commentary. Robert Aaron Long, 21 years old, of Woodstock, Georgia, was arrested Tuesday in the murders of eight people, six of whom were women of Asian descent working in massage parlors. Initial media reports indicated that he claimed he did it because he was a sex addict. Sex addiction is not a trivial matter. But right now his claim feels like a...
Cary’s classic column from Friday, Feb 20, 2004 I’m in love with a siren who lured me and is now destroying me. Dear Cary, I have been involved with a woman for one and a half years. She is well mannered, dresses nicely, has style, is extremely intelligent, and is a stunning beauty. We also share many views on the world and, for example, an obsession with the same country that we would...
Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, DEC 9, 2005 Dear Cary, When our two boys were small children, my husband was a very high-achieving alcoholic. He never lost his job, he never verbally or physically abused either the kids or me, he remained a good father, and he never alienated his friends or family. Indeed, to this day, no one other than me (and his treatment group participants and counselors)...
Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JAN 12, 2012 After 15 years, suddenly she’s moody and unreachable — and I think it’s her boyfriend’s fault Dear Cary, I’m sure you’ve had letters similar to mine, but I’m sure there are others who might benefit by knowing it’s not just them who’ve dealt with a toxic friendship in their lives. I’ve dated some toxic men; one who was a verbally and...
Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, FEB 21, 2006 She says I must either accept the situation 100 percent or forget being maid of honor. Dear Cary, I have a very good friend who is getting married soon. She’s smart, funny, talented, beautiful and successful. We’ve been friends for about 12 years (since high school) and we’ve always had the label “best friends” on our relationship, although we’ve...
Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 15, 2009 My mother and my boyfriend want to tell me how many pills to take Dear Cary, When I was 18, I had my first kidney stone. I had lithotripsy for another at 19 and a very serious bacterial infection in my kidney in between. I am now 25, and have spent seven years with intermittent pain and urinary tract infections. In the past year, the pain has...
[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from December 10, 2010 Wow. We were so close in high school, and now she’s doing drugs and hanging out with gangs Dear Cary, “Jenny” and I were the best of friends in high school. We did everything together and were more like sisters than friends. After high...
[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JAN 20, 2004 I grew up in an abusive household, but I’m determined to be happy. Am I capable of it? Dear Cary, I grew up in the home of a raging alcoholic, drug abuser and emotionally and verbally abusive father. For the first 18 years of my life every...
[button link=”mailto:advice@carytennis.com” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, OCT 19, 2006 It was good to separate from their alcoholic dad — but I feel bad about bringing my kids to the city. Dear Cary, My husband and I are recently separated. To make a long story short, he developed a serious drinking habit over the...
Dear Cary, I’ve been off and on, but mostly on, alcohol for over 20 years. Currently on. About eight months ago, I was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend I’ve known since kindergarten. We’ve stayed close through the years but I was rather surprised by the request. Come to find out this will be a lavish affair; I am one of 12 bridesmaids and God knows how many other members...