In my Amherst Writers and Artists-style workshops sometimes we write using only one-syllable words. It’s really really fun! So I’m thinking up prompts for this “Writing is Delicious” workshop we’re having in October and thinking about using one-syllable words only to describe food, and …

We can’t say the word for how we can just have one of them, because it has three of them. Which we like. Which is a good thing. But: The word for it we can’t say ‘cause (is that word fair?!!) it is of two parts at least, but what I mean, it keeps you short, it keeps you down to one, just this but not that, that is too long, just this is good, just this is done, see how it warps the piece, makes it strange? I like that. I like how it makes it strange. It makes it strong too! It does! It makes it strong! I like it! So I keep at it. But I wish I had a word for the thing we have to keep it to, to keep it to one of. I wish there was a word for the one that has three of them that says it right, but is too long. You get me?
Then we could do this with food too.

So I go on a quest for a one-syllable synonym for “syllable.” So I ask Google, “What is a one-syllable synonym for ‘syllable’?” and it says …

Then I see an entry in the Google search results for “one-syllable related terms” and I think great, let’s see some related one-syllable words … but no.

You don’t get it, Google! You don’t understand what I’m after!

And I keep looking but it keeps being things about the thing, not the thing itself! I want to find one-syllable words themselves, not things about the idea of their being one-syllabled …

which makes me think about something else, something about good writing and bad writing and the thing itself being lacking in bad writing, about the words substituting for our true desire, which is for the thing, not the thing about the thing. Which is a title: Our True Desire is for the thing, not the thing about the thing.

Anyway, “Yougowords”—Really? Seriously? That’s what you’re calling it?

I give up. Wait. I am persistent! I am the hero of this story. I will pick myself up and try again.

“OK Google, no kidding now, no fooling around! This is it! Show me some goddam one-syllable words!”

Wait for it, wait for it,

OMG! I found it! (IFI?) Here it is! A really long list of one-syllable words! You can find it here!

Now I am really, really happy. And that was a story! It was a quest story!