[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I need your help before I really mess things up for myself. I’m a single woman in my early 50s, I enjoy my job, nice people, understanding boss, etc. Earlier this year I spoke to my boss about a promotion/raise. She felt it was worthwhile to pursue and said...
I’m available to a limited number of clients for editing, coaching and advising on long writing projects. Contact me at [email protected] if you have a project you are working on and would like to talk about it. What I do: It might be nothing more than a couple of hours talking through a project. Or I might follow a long writing project, reading rough drafts as they are completed and...
Dear Reader, I wrote “The Psychedelic Madness of Covid-19” for David Talbot, founder of Salon.com, and I think it’s the best piece I’ve written about my recovery from Covid-19. Read and enjoy! The podcast started out as an honest homage to David Talbot, but ended up being all about me, me, me! How I ended up working at Salon.com, how I learned everything I needed to know...
Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, APR 24, 2007 I’m crazy in love with my two sisters’ five kids. I feel like helping to raise them would give my life meaning. Dear Cary, My younger sisters each recently had two babies apiece — two boys on one side, two girls on the other side. There’s also a fantastic 7-year-old in the mix. I have, quite frankly, fallen in love with these children. I am not a...
Cary’s classic column from Monday, Apr 16, 2012 We’re 4,000 miles apart. He wants me to join him but I don’t want to sit around the house Dear Cary, I got married about three months ago to a man I truly love and respect. We are both doctorates in the same field in the sciences. We’ve always been long distance — we met in undergrad, seven years ago, but started dating only three years ago...
Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, APR 8, 2004 My boss is a nasty, sexist, arrogant man. How can I defend myself against his unreasonable behavior? Dear Cary, I hate my boss. He’s a horrible, old, mean, vain, nasty, sexist, arrogant man who yells and berates me and the rest of his staff constantly. I have a stomachache all day long while I’m working and often fantasize that he will die. There’s...
Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Apr 23, 2013 People are saying untrue things about me for no apparent reason Dear Cary, A few months ago, I got a new supervisor at work. I was excited because this is someone I’ve known for years, and have even considered a mentor in the past. Unfortunately, I had a string of personal losses in the past few months — deaths and major illnesses of loved...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column TUESDAY, MAR 21, 2006 I have so much potential I can’t decide what to do! Dear Cary, I’m 23 and panicking. I’ve been working at a fairly small company in New York for about two years now. Immersed in my studies during my senior year at college, I hadn’t looked very...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 2, 2004 She wants me to leave under my own power — in a nice, quiet way. Dear Cary, I’ve been working at a high-tech company for about five years. My previous boss adored me, gave me good raises and promised me a promotion. Unfortunately...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, OCT 1, 2007 I am supposed to be managing 15 people, but they are crazy and unmanageable. What am I to do? Dear Cary, I supervise about 15 people at my job, 13 of whom are women. I am a man. It is an office environment, not high pressure, with relatively...
I fear I lack common sense in life, and this affects my performance. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 24, 2008 Dear Cary, How does one build common sense? I’m a 31-year-old who has been plagued for most of my adult life with this problem. I’m a software engineer by trade, but I really love the theoretical aspects more than the practical aspects: algorithms and design as opposed to...
I don’t know how to settle down. But I’m almost 30 and don’t want to waste my life! Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, OCT 3, 2008 Dear Cary, I’ve written to so many advice columnists and no one ever answers. I am plagued by problems — for years. In general, what the hell is the deal with me? I was so blithe and great and happy in childhood — but ever since I was, oh, 15, things have gone...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] He’s a gay person of color, but he’s against the minimum wage! Cary’s classic column from Sunday, THURSDAY, JUL 21, 2005 Dear Cary, I have been at my current position as an attorney at a law firm for less than a year. Although I work at a rather typical big law firm, I am a committed...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, NOV 23, 2009 I’m getting sick of being “the editor’s girlfriend” Dear Cary, I’m a college student and a reporter for my university’s paper. I’m a good writer — my work has shown up in publications beyond the university, and since arriving here I’ve...
I’m doing the kind of work I love, but he’s earning so much more! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, FEB 16, 2006 Dear Cary, How do I get my husband to stop telling me that I make too little money? I am a full-time copy editor at a magazine, making what copy editors make when they first start out in their careers. I love my job and feel that I am well suited for it; unfortunately, the pay is...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m an INFJ working undercover at JCrew/Abercrombie/Banana Republic/Sephora/Barneys/Apple/Eddie Bauer Town Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Dec 7, 2010 Dear Cary, I’m a worldly, well-traveled, experienced and vibrant woman, still young (age 55), I have a wide network of interesting...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m trying to get a job where my boyfriend’s living and it’s just not working! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, MAY 5, 2005 Dear Cary, My boyfriend and I were together for the first year of our relationship, then moved to separate cities after college. That was two years ago. I’ve...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I have an offer to study in the Arctic, but I’d have to leave my boyfriend behind. Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, MAY 2, 2006 Dear Cary, I am at a crossroads in life and it is difficult. I have been working since high school, building my résumé. I finished my Ph.D., and have had a...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I know what to do and how to do it but I’m paralyzed! Soon my whole work life is going to come crashing down! (Cary’s classic column from Friday, March 7, 2008) Dear Cary, It may be too late for me. I’m committing professional suicide. I see exactly what I’m doing, and I can’t stop...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 4, 2008 He seems to believe that when I travel I must be sleeping with my boss. Dear Cary, I married my second husband in 2002, just a couple of months after completing chemo treatments for ovarian cancer. We’d been together a year and a...
Dear Cary, Please help me process my murderous rage – a rage i suspect others share as well. I’m sorry you don’t seem to be on Salon anymore. You were pretty much the only reason I bothered with that site so I haven’t been in ages. I’m not 100% sure whether you’re still doing this advice thing or what the new protocol is, your site seems to indicate...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, SEP 15, 2004 You’d think a Ph.D. in Renaissance literature from an Ivy League school would count for something in the business world. Dear Cary, On paper, I am talented, bright, creative … almost perfect. I am 33 years old; I have a Ph.D. in...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, OCT 6, 2009 I’ve got only a genetic disease and old age to look forward to Dear Cary, I have been reading your column for a while and always find your advice useful in a roundabout way, but I especially find it honest. I’m going to be...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column fromWEDNESDAY, JUL 2, 2008 Cancer changed everything. I need a new paradigm. Dear Cary, Please help me figure out how to survive surviving. Three years ago I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. After a year of surgery, chemo and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Apr 19, 2012 We work together and now things are very, very awkward Dear Cary, Hi. Today I’m working from home because I’m so confused and humiliated about a situation at work that I am taking advantage of this option whenever I can. I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I recently hurt myself at work and was forced to take a few months off. I received worker’s compensation but it didn’t cover my bills and I ended up burning through my savings. Still, I was happy just to have all my physical therapy paid for. Then...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Aug 19, 2004 My boss uses what I write in e-mails as his own. What should I do about it? Dear Cary, I’m an in-house copywriter/creative director with a small technical company, working for a boss whose communications skills, to put it...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Dec 5, 2002 Should I give up my career and live the life of an Italian housewife? Dear Cary, I graduated from college nearly two years ago and moved to Italy, where I have fallen in love with a wonderful man I have known since April and dated...
Hi Cary, When I married my wife, I started my own business (Web development). And since our wedding day, that business was modest and grew slowly, but surely. But never beyond being a modest business. And we were happy. The key, however, was that I worked from home and spent a lot of time with my wife I otherwise would not, and I knew when we had kids, that meant spending time with them too. We...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jul 17, 2012 He followed me on a work-related move and now he’s sitting around reading comic books Cary, About six months ago, I got a major promotion that came with a moderate pay raise. I needed to transfer from my company’s Northern...
Am I doing it right? [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Reader, When I was writing the Since You Asked advice column for Salon.com, I often would meander from the “given” form in ways that some readers found aesthetically displeasing. They were experiencing genre shock. (As though...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column Tuesday, NOV 4, 2003 10:29 AM PST I had a crush on a colleague, and now she wants to be friends, but I don’t. How do I get rid of her? Dear Cary, I’m a Salon reader from Mexico and I enjoy reading your column very much. Now I need your advice. I am a medical...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column Tuesday, Mar 18, 2008 I have a feeling maybe I should move to the city, but I like my job, I like my town and I like my family. Dear Cary, I have several concurrent problems for you. Bet you can’t wait. Firstly, my job … I work in a small gas station as a cashier...
Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUN 15, 2007 I’m aghast to find I’ll be sharing an office with a man whom — for good but confidential reasons — I utterly detest. Dear Cary, I need your perspective on an issue that may not have a solution that I will ever find satisfying … but here goes. I recently started working for a new employer and I have been very happy in...
Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JUN 16, 2008 I refuse to apologize for taking a stand that is in the best interests of the company. Dear Cary, I am having a little difficulty knowing where the line dividing personal assistant and administrative staff lies. I’ve been harshly reprimanded for questioning or challenging a principal on a matter that I felt was an abuse of company resources and the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I work for a small office in a large organization. I like my job and I believe in the work we are doing. The problem is, I don’t like my co-workers. Or rather, they don’t like me. I work in a male-dominated field, so I’m used to being the odd woman out...