How do you reach a point where your conscience is overwhelming and you must make the leap?
How do you get to that point?
… where the conscience … blooms, and all the fear subsides, and the conscience floods the spirit, floods the mind, floods the brain, and gives one the courage to just do the right thing. Just fucking do the right thing!”
Listening to this podcast was like listening to myself think — I mean, EXACTLY. After every thought or sentence in this, I was sitting here saying, “Yes….yeah,..yup…uh-huh…right, ha-ha, exactly,” and so on. I go through the same train of thought about politicians, the whole Trump thing, AND about addiction/attachments/fear and wondering if and how these people will ever hit bottom, because I agree: it’s impossible, in my experience anyway, to let go of the lie (whatever it may be) without losing a whole lot (or in my case, everything) first. I’ve been in recovery for 26 years, and I’ve watched several people come to 12-step meetings who seem to have been barely scratched by their alcoholism/addiction, and while most of them disappear, there are many who stay and remain alcohol/substance-free, but (from my point of view) still miserable and sick. In other words, I guess I tend to believe that the moment of discovery and surrender has to be absolute. I stopped drinking only after I’d failed in a very determined attempt to suicide by alcohol, and having failed, was a blank slate. I was willing to seek help only because I found myself in the most frustrating position of not being able to die and not being able to drink, either. No more ideas left and no “power” to live by. So I have witnessed the Trump presidency in horror and disbelief, and asked myself, too, “What IS IT that these guys are so attached or addicted to that they can NOT let go of?” And in the end, I have to figure that I just can’t even begin to imagine how deeply entrenched in criminality they’ve become or how they’ve experienced such a slow but constant erosion (or blanketing) of decency and truth in themselves. And as you say, it IS like watching someone destroy themselves in a way you can’t relate to, and so from the outside it looks simple: just stop, right? But I know it’s not that simple, and I try to pray as much for these people as I do for all those they’ve hurt and killed. And I always come back to myself, and all the cleaning up I have yet to do within. There’s really nowhere else to start (for me). And I’ve found that love helps…I mean, I have friends who support Trump (still) and I’ve had loving and respectful conversations with them, trying to understand what it is about him that attracts them. By the end of the conversation, though, it usually comes down to, “Well, I don’t really know as much about politics as you do, but all I know is that I like him (Trump).” And I know very little about politics. I listen to the radio only once or twice a week, and stick with NPR, which keeps me sort of sane…MSNBC is just as poisonous to me as Fox News is. I’m so tired of hearing people shouting their opinions, and there’s none of that nonsense on NPR. Have you read THE GREAT DIVORCE by C.S. Lewis? That helps, too, although I am not a member of any religious body. But I don’t really have any answers. (church bells chiming…I dunno…good luck, everyone…and thank God Biden won.).
Thank you Cary. We have decided to turn our anger into love of country and to use that powerful force to become even more active citizens. No one can do it for us. We will create the country we want.
Sounds good, Wendy. That seems to be the solution: to begin with what is true for us and then put that into action, so that ideally the country becomes a reflection of who we are in our best moments, i.e. courageous, honest, forthright, etc., instead of a reflection of who we are in our worst moments, i.e.fearful about prestige, ego, status, etc. Thanks!