Dear Cary, I met my girlfriend almost three years ago. She was married at the time. Things started casually. We flirted and maybe behaved inappropriately when no one was looking. Our flirting progressed, some playful touching and sometimes she’d teasingly pull her dress up a bit for a second or push her cleavage together for a quick tease. Eventually we began exchanging sexual text messages...
Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, APR 12, 2004 I am going to marry a man I love, but he says if I gain a lot of weight he might leave me. Dear Cary, I am engaged to a fantastic person. For the first time I feel I am with someone who loves me for who I am, and not for who they want me to be. He loves it all, the good and the ugly, and that leaves me feeling very at ease in this relationship. I...
Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, DEC 12, 2007 If we move in together, should I buy a safe? Hi Cary, I recently escaped a long-term (by today’s standards), abusive marriage. I’ve done remarkably well for myself, I think, and I feel like I have my shit together. I became reacquainted with an old friend about a year after my divorce, and we became a couple. He’s everything my ex was not: kind...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 5, 2004 I thought my husband was stupid, but he’s just got attention deficit disorder. Dear Cary, I’m 40 years old, married for 19 years, with three boys ages 4, 8 and 14, who are constantly and completely amazing to me. I never finished college...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JUL 21, 2003 My abusive husband is dying and I have a lover. How good do I have to be? Dear Cary, Last year I went to visit a divorce lawyer, having finally got up the nerve to end a 29-year marriage (I’m 49) to a physically and emotionally abusive man...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I wanted to be the bride but I don’t like being the wife. Now I face the toughest decision of my life. Cary’s classic column from Friday, Aug 15, 2008 Dear Cary, I am a 25-year-old woman with two dogs and a sad marriage. I’ve been married going on three years and for the past one year or...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 24, 2007 I’m already raising two kids of my own. Should I divorce her and go it alone? Dear Cary, About a month ago, I discovered my wife of one year had had a fling with a co-worker that she initiated. I found out, I’m ashamed to say, by...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, SEP 9, 2008 Divorced, they’ve been squabbling in courts for over a decade. Dear Cary, I write this letter to you with the hope of gaining some clarity in a situation that it appears I cannot remove myself from. My parents have been divorced for more...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUL 1, 2003 No one told me how disappointing and boring married life is! Dear Cary, I am a 34-year-old woman, married for about 14 months. If I had known how disappointing and boring marriage would be, I would never have done it. What is worse...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 22, 2005 Why did he spend 18 years with my mom? Did he know all along, or what? Dear Cary, Two months ago my dad moved out of the house. For about two years he has been depressed and then he started to have a drinking problem. My mom tried...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAR 19, 2003 I want my husband to write a letter to my future lovers, telling them that the demise of our marriage was his fault. Dear Cary, I don’t always agree with you, but I do think you are compassionate and nonjudgmental, two of the most...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary – My ex and I divorced 7 years ago. He instigated it. Although I knew he was dissatisfied with where he was at in life, it completely took me by surprise that he was unhappy enough in the relationship to want out. After he said he wanted to split, I went...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column Tuesday, JUL 21, 2003 What do I owe him? Dear Cary, Last year I went to visit a divorce lawyer, having finally got up the nerve to end a 29-year marriage (I’m 49) to a physically and emotionally abusive man. I had been seeing a wonderful man for some time, and we...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, Your column spoke to a writer’s heart. It encouraged. It gave strength. It had passion and power. It would be lovely if you would continue to offer advice. That said, I need some support and advice. I’m in the midst of a contentious divorce. Friends started...
Dear Cary: Thank you for bringing humaneness to advice columns. I hope you’ll consider taking time to help me figure out a problem. I was raised in a tribal culture where women keep things to themselves in order to keep others from worrying. I have trouble speaking to friends back home to help me work this out, and I am in a very rural area with no therapists close by. I do not have any...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I have been reading your letters for years, and usually I can find plenty of guidance through your responses to others. This time, I would like your thoughts directly. I am a divorced mom of an elementary school child. I was married for a long time, and got divorced...
Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, DEC 22, 2008 I’ve been dating her husband, but now she wants him back! Dear Cary, For the past seven months, I have been dating and falling in love with a man who is in the final stages of his divorce. After six years of marriage, it’s been a year and a half since they were together. Throughout their marriage she’d repeatedly cheated...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I wrote to you once about seven years ago — I was a faithful column reader before and until now. Your advice was spot on, and now I find myself in a heartbreaking situation that I hope you will shed your light on. My husband and I have been married for six years. We have...