Advice: Only bullet points now?

• Thought: Can advice column be written in bullet-point form?
  • If yes, how?
  • Possible methods:
    • Brainstorm ideas
    • Use flow chart method
      • i.e. if my boyfriend does not love me I will:
        • go to grad school
        • trash his paperbacks
        • get a therapist
          • how to get a therapist
            • gather list of possible therapists
            • use insurance company list
              • ask friends for referrals
                • if no friends, ask cousin for friend referral in order to make friend
                  • make friend
                    • make friend? how?
                      • have dinner together
                      • go to movies
                      • introduce to family
              • look online
                • judge therapist effectiveness by thumbnail head shot
                • look at school attended
                • if Yale, think twice
                • why worry about Yale?
                • bullet-point list starting to teeter
                  • note to self: reconsider exclusive use of bullet points lists for advice column
              • look in Yellow Pages to find therapist. How?
                • travel back to 1983
                • find discarded Yellow Pages books in abandoned East Oakland apartment
                • see if therapists listed in 1983 Yellow Pages book are still:
                  • practicing
                  • accepting insurance
                  • breathing
              • (note to self: see therapist about weird attitude toward Yale)
            • pick five who appeal for some unknown reason
            • ask if they take insurance
            • ask about sliding scale
            • ask if they are recovering addicts
            • ask about favorite passage from c.g. jung
              • if prospective therapist’s favorite passage from c.g. jung matches yours, make appointment
              • if therapist asks, “c.g.jung: was that a former client of mine?” keep looking
        • Just do random things commonly referred to as “doing a geographic”
          • move to Milwaukee
          • move to Vietnam and do long-distance relationship
        • Do random things commonly referred to as “acting out”
          • Sleep with his best friend
          • Sleep with his brother
          • Sleep with his brother’s best friend
        • go back to grad school
          • Write to Cary asking whether to go back to grad school
• Note to self: write journal article on appropriateness of bullet-point list as advice-column format
  • Consider pluses and minuses
    • Pluses
      • less long columns of unbroken text
      • fewer total words
      • like shape of bullet points
      • could become new, sleeker, faster communication method
        • recall other newer sleeker forms
          • semaphor
          • smoke signals
          • research effectiveness and longevity of those forms
    • Minuses
      • vague feeling not getting to root of problem
      • suspect him just fooling around?
        • past instances of him just fooling around?
        • is he really just fooling around?
        • why?
        • maybe he just wants to have fun?
        • is he honestly trying to change or is he making fun of the internet
        • (note to self: research methods of making fun of internet)
        • key to fundamental nature?
        • just a fluke?
        • language poetry?
    • more research needed.