Category

Since You Asked (the column)

A good mother

A

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Friday, Jul 11, 2003 I have four kids, so should I break with my sometimes violent boyfriend? Dear Cary, I’m a mother of four: three preteen boys from my marriage at the tender age of 19, and a 3-year-old daughter with my current live-in boyfriend...

Panicked in Rome

P

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Dec 5, 2002 Should I give up my career and live the life of an Italian housewife? Dear Cary, I graduated from college nearly two years ago and moved to Italy, where I have fallen in love with a wonderful man I have known since April and dated...

I’m going for it

I

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Monday, Feb 24, 2003 I’m in a passionless marriage and I’m going to have an affair — just thought I’d let you know in case you have some advice. Dear Cary, My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years. We love each...

I’m in love with a mama’s boy

I

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, DEC 10, 2002 She not only lives with us but also comes in and lies on our bed and watches TV with us. Dear Cary, I’m in a great relationship with a good man. We have been together for a year now and he is good to me, he treats me with so much...

My wife is mean to me

M

Hi Cary, When I married my wife, I started my own business (Web development). And since our wedding day, that business was modest and grew slowly, but surely. But never beyond being a modest business. And we were happy. The key, however, was that I worked from home and spent a lot of time with my wife I otherwise would not, and I knew when we had kids, that meant spending time with them too. We...

My Scandinavian bridesmaid’s roommate is a creep

M

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 20, 2004 He screwed my 17-year-old sister on my wedding night, and threatened to have my kneecaps broken! Dear Cary, I live in a Scandinavian country. I moved here a little over a year ago to be with my love and recently got married...

My husband abused my son

M

  [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, For three years I have grappled with how to write this letter. Cary, you are the only individual aside from my therapist that I can trust with my story. I have felt ashamed, frightened (all my secrets spread across the Internet) and strangely unable to write. But now I...

Help! I’m falling for a fat man!

H

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 27, 2006 I like this guy a lot, but the poundage is a turnoff. Dear Cary, Currently I’m dating a man who just won’t leave my consciousness, not for a moment. I think of him all the time. He’s pretty special. My problem is this: This...

My freeloader boyfriend

M

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jul 17, 2012 He followed me on a work-related move and now he’s sitting around reading comic books Cary, About six months ago, I got a major promotion that came with a moderate pay raise. I needed to transfer from my company’s Northern...

Can I skip my friend’s wedding?

C

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jun 26, 2012 I can’t afford to go plus I dread seeing my mean, stupid ex and his shiny new whatever   Hi Cary, My question is simple, but the back story is complicated. A very good, old friend of mine is getting married this fall. She...

My secret is about to be revealed

M

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Jan 4, 2006 I told my husband I was a virgin when we married but I wasn’t. Now the guy I did it with is going to tell. Dear Cary, A secret from my youth is about to be exposed. When this happens, my life will implode. I can see the pain...

I think my dad’s too old to vote

I

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Apr 15, 2008 He says he’s not really following politics, but is planning to vote anyway. Dear Cary, My 84-year-old father voted a straight ticket in the 2008 primary. Now he says that at his age he doesn’t keep up with politics anymore...

I finally found my dad — drunk on skid row

I

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Aug 25, 2011 05:20 PM PDT I thought I could bring him home, but he got loaded and disappeared Dear Cary, Recently — within the past couple of months — I went on a search to find my father. I can count how many times I’ve seen him in my life and...

I seem to be moving in with my boyfriend — but why?!

I

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Monday, Aug 25, 2008 His 9-year-old has Tourette’s and ADHD, and I’m still a student … is this a good idea? Hello, I’m a 23-year-old student and I am moving in with my boyfriend (29) and his son (9) this week. I’ve realized as the date...

My new boyfriend’s mom has cancer

M

  [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Hi Cary, I am seeing a great guy, but things have recently become very ambiguous between us and I’m not sure the best course of action for me. We were dating for a little over two months, it was a slowly deepening fantastic and mature relationship, and I care for him...

Inherited money turned my friends into idiots

I

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Apr 28, 2011 Since they got suddenly rich, all they talk about is how hard it is to get good help Hi, Cary – In a nutshell, the problem is that my three best friends have all inherited substantial money in the past two years. My husband and I...

I have a secret I have to tell

I

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Cary’s classic column from Monday, Mar 12, 2012   I’ve never told anyone what my dad did to me when I was 10. Should I just keep it bottled up? Dear Cary, Well first of all, man, I’ve never done something like this, ever, so it’s kinda scary. But here’s the deal. I’m a guy...

Can we flee my husband’s family?

C

Cary’s classic column from Sep 3, 2009 They’ll drive us crazy if we stay. We want to move to Colorado! Dear Cary, This is hardly a new topic, but here goes. My husband and I have been married about a year and a half. We met, instantly fell in love and got married a short time later. We are in our mid-30s and know ourselves well, so there was no reason to wait. And we are crazy happy with...

My brother retreated to a basement apartment with his dog

M

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, May 26, 2005 He’s had some tough blows lately, but I’m concerned he’s really losing it. Dear Cary, My younger brother, 40, is an anxious, depressed social recluse. He lives with his dog in a basement apartment alone. He never answers...

Can devout Muslim and atheist Jew make it work?

C

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Dear Cary, I was born in the States to a conservative Muslim Indian family. My mother, younger brothers and I moved back when I was around 11, while my (very religious) dad stayed on as a small business owner and came to see us three to four times a year. I came back to the States...

I grew up poor but my boyfriend has money

I

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Jul 24, 2006 If we were to marry, could we make it work? Dear Cary, I’ve been dating a good man for the last seven months. We have loads of fun together; we’re both creative types who pursue our passions in our own time while working at jobs related to...

Our friend got drunk and went to a hotel room with a bunch of Marines

O

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, MAY 6, 2008 We think she’s out of control, and we think she should tell her boyfriend. Dear Cary, I am writing to you to get advice about a friend of mine who has some rather troubling issues that I fear may one day turn into very serious issues...

My father has ruined us financially

M

  [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Hi Cary, This is the second time I write to you. I don’t want to take advantage of you, but your advice has given me such a wise and comforting, yet concrete external point of view through which looking at my problem that helped me a lot, and I really look up to your...

After years of being meek, I’m suddenly screaming at people!

A

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Nov 6, 2007 My father was full of rage and insult, and I sat mute through his tirades. Now I’m exploding at people too. Dear Cary, So I grew up in an abusive household. Not the “my dad gets drunk and smashes a lamp over my mother’s head” kind of...

I’ve been cheating on my husband for a year and it’s driving me crazy

I

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Feb 27, 2004 I’m a good girl, but I can’t seem to stop. Dear Cary, I had to have liquid courage to be able to write this message. I’m married. I’ve been having an affair for nearly a year. It’s the same-old, same-old someone-I-work-with...

“I hate everybody!” plus Cary rambles on about rambling on

&

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Reader, I thought that every time I do a column I would write something but today I don’t really want to write anything about myself. I really do not like writing about myself. Or do I? Actually, what happens is that initially writing about myself is frustrating because I do...

Vibrators and the man

V

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column WEDNESDAY, JAN 22, 2003 12:05 PM PST My husband “goes at it” with porn and sex toys right in front of me! Dear Cary, Lately, my husband of 10 years has developed a fascination (obsession?) with video porn and vibrating sex toys. He says he’s sick of...

I can’t get home to see my mom before she dies

I

Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 25, 2007   By the time you read this, she’ll probably be gone. Why couldn’t I be by her side?   Dear Cary, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and need advice. So here I am. I’ll cut to the point: My 63-year-old mother will most likely be deceased by the time you receive this. After a number of years battling multiple sclerosis, the drugs...

Only later did I find out he was cheating

O

  [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button]   Dear Cary – My ex and I divorced 7 years ago.  He instigated it. Although I knew he was dissatisfied with where he was at in life, it completely took me by surprise that he was unhappy enough in the relationship to want out. After he said he wanted to split, I went...

My abusive husband is dying and I have a lover. How good do I have to be?

M

[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column Tuesday, JUL 21, 2003 What do I owe him? Dear Cary, Last year I went to visit a divorce lawyer, having finally got up the nerve to end a 29-year marriage (I’m 49) to a physically and emotionally abusive man. I had been seeing a wonderful man for some time, and we...

Recent Posts

Recent Comments