Should I pick up and move four hours away to be with the man I love? Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, MAR 19, 2007 Dear Cary, I have to make a decision and I need your help. Decisions have never been my forte, but for the past 11 years I’ve been able to make them pretty well because I had a kid. When you have a kid you make decisions that will help the kid. As much as possible. So I went back...
Dear Cary, I’m a young woman who moved to the US a few years ago to do my PhD (I am currently in another country for a post-doc). I’m in a very difficult situation, I feel so desperate and depressed, like there’s no way out. For more than 2 years I have been in a relationship with a married man, who was my PhD advisor (I eventually switched advisors so that he wouldn’t...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JAN 31, 2005 Should I break it off now and look for a man who wants to raise a family? Dear Cary, I’m a 31-year-old smart, cute, funny, perennially happy physician who is in love with a 38-year-old chemistry professor. He is everything I want in a man...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 4, 2008 He seems to believe that when I travel I must be sleeping with my boss. Dear Cary, I married my second husband in 2002, just a couple of months after completing chemo treatments for ovarian cancer. We’d been together a year and a...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, MAY 16, 2005 I’m finally ready to deal with a long-lost love, but a recent breakup seems to be all I can think about. Dear Cary, I recently went through a breakup of a very short affair. Three months after it began it was completely over, by her choice...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, The theme of my letter is no different from the ones you probably receive by the dozens every day. I have gone through your site every morning devouring citations by troubled souls. But even when I spot some common patterns, I’m not sure why I feel my own problem is unique...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Jun 5, 2011 Sure, I’m crazy — for him! But I botched my approach! Now how do I wriggle out? Dear Cary: I have been following your column for years. I hope you can help me — I need concrete advice, almost like a to-do list on what to do next. I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 24, 2007 I’m already raising two kids of my own. Should I divorce her and go it alone? Dear Cary, About a month ago, I discovered my wife of one year had had a fling with a co-worker that she initiated. I found out, I’m ashamed to say, by...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JAN 30, 2003 My boyfriend promised we’d be engaged by Christmas but we weren’t. Should I let it go or move out? Dear Cary, I have been dating my boyfriend for four years, and living with him for most of that time. We started (I think mutually) to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I hope you’ll remember what this is about. I wrote last year about falling in love with the wrong person at college, an atheist Jew, the polar opposite of what my conservative Muslim family has always wanted for me. I wrote about worrying about telling my parents, and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, OCT 8, 2008 It’s taken me a long time to accept what my therapist has been pushing at — but I think I’m ready to act in my own interest. Dear Cary, I’m troubled. At long last, my therapist did something I sensed she meant to do a long time ago...
Dear Cary, My husband of 16 years and I have never made an official list, but it’s always been accepted that were we to have, in some fantasyland, the opportunity to sleep with a certain few adored famous people, the sin would be exonerated. (I should mention here that over the years both of us have had our indiscretions with plain old normals, and while the aftermath has never been fun...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 15, 2008 I shouldn’t have looked in her diary, but maybe it’s best that I did. Dear Cary, This summer, my girlfriend went to Central America for three months. She was in spotty contact with me the whole time, saying it was difficult to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, OCT 9, 2007 I’ve been a cheater since my very first boyfriend and no one has ever found out. Cary, I am a cheater. I’ve never had a boyfriend or husband that I didn’t cheat on. When I was younger, it would just be making out behind a boyfriend’s back;...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Nov 30, 2010 I put my boyfriend through hell. How can I stop? Dear Cary, My problem is that I’m a pretty crappy girlfriend. I have been in a relationship for over a year with someone that I really care about. He and I met in graduate school and have...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUN 25, 2009 We got caught making out and now my mom’s all like you have to break up with him if you want to keep living here Dear Cary, My name is V and I’m 18 years old. I have a boyfriend and he’s 18 years old too, but the situation here is that my...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 23, 2007 We were sharing household duties, but then things got out of whack and now I’m ready to bitch-slap my hubby! Dear Cary: My husband won’t do his laundry and I want to bitch-slap him. Yes, this is coming from a middle-aged...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 18, 2003 Is it reasonable to expect a happy love life, or in the end will it just be me, Aunt Zoey and a few too many cats? Dear Cary, I am a 29-year-old woman about to begin a doctoral degree in a field that truly moves and inspires me. I am...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, OCT 6, 2009 I’ve got only a genetic disease and old age to look forward to Dear Cary, I have been reading your column for a while and always find your advice useful in a roundabout way, but I especially find it honest. I’m going to be...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAR 19, 2003 I want my husband to write a letter to my future lovers, telling them that the demise of our marriage was his fault. Dear Cary, I don’t always agree with you, but I do think you are compassionate and nonjudgmental, two of the most...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, OCT 19, 2005T Is this resolution or abandonment? Dear Cary: Thank you, first off, for being a unique voice in a somewhat crude, unsympathetic age. Here’s my problem in a nutshell: I’ve abandoned my family, and they’ve let me, and I can’t...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 16, 2009 I thought I liked this guy, but his message to me and the other woman he’s dating seemed pretty tacky. Dear Cary, I value your advice and read your column all the time. Anyway, after a long hiatus, I dove into the dating pool. I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, SEP 3, 2012 We date for six weeks and then they say, “There’s no spark” Hi Cary, I enjoy reading your responses because they are honest and very heartfelt, and – I hope this doesn’t sound over the top — they’re often quite...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I have a problem, and I don’t know whether it’s with myself or my partner. You have an exceptional understanding of the human mind and soul, so I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me out. We’ve been doing distance this past year with the intention of...
Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 13, 2004 Why can’t I get over my bitterness at my bad luck? Dear Cary, It seems crazy to write you at this time because actually I am happier right now than I’ve ever been in my life. I am engaged to a wonderful man and we are going to be married in the spring. He is 53, handsome, with thick salt-and-pepper hair and a truly sweet nature. I am...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Apr 19, 2012 We work together and now things are very, very awkward Dear Cary, Hi. Today I’m working from home because I’m so confused and humiliated about a situation at work that I am taking advantage of this option whenever I can. I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Jun 21, 2004 Is it possible to go out with two women at the same time and get away with it? Dear Cary, I’m in a bind: After going a couple of years without a serious relationship, I recently met two very cool women in the course of two days. Gal...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Oct 6, 2003 But he’s an artist. Should I boot him? Dear Cary, My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year — my longest and best male/male relationship. Right before we met, he quit his lucrative job in retail to go back to school...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jul 20, 2004 Our son has asked us to be cool toward the parents of his ex-girlfriend. Should we do what he wants? Dear Cary, My college-age son just went through a nasty breakup with his girlfriend, which was largely due to her treating him...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I am writing to you in the hope that you can help me sort out my life, such as it is. I am a woman in her late thirties, though I look much younger. Who knows how long that will be the case, which is one of many issues clouding my mind and keeping me up at night. I met a man...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Jul 11, 2003 I have four kids, so should I break with my sometimes violent boyfriend? Dear Cary, I’m a mother of four: three preteen boys from my marriage at the tender age of 19, and a 3-year-old daughter with my current live-in boyfriend...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Dec 5, 2002 Should I give up my career and live the life of an Italian housewife? Dear Cary, I graduated from college nearly two years ago and moved to Italy, where I have fallen in love with a wonderful man I have known since April and dated...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Feb 24, 2003 I’m in a passionless marriage and I’m going to have an affair — just thought I’d let you know in case you have some advice. Dear Cary, My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years. We love each...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, DEC 10, 2002 She not only lives with us but also comes in and lies on our bed and watches TV with us. Dear Cary, I’m in a great relationship with a good man. We have been together for a year now and he is good to me, he treats me with so much...
Hi Cary, When I married my wife, I started my own business (Web development). And since our wedding day, that business was modest and grew slowly, but surely. But never beyond being a modest business. And we were happy. The key, however, was that I worked from home and spent a lot of time with my wife I otherwise would not, and I knew when we had kids, that meant spending time with them too. We...