[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Please, women, don’t speculate on my hips’ suitability for childbearing! Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 9, 2008 Dear Cary, How do I handle comments from other women (yes, other women) about my body? I’m 5’5” and weigh 115. By the age of 55 I’d think that the days of dealing...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m sick, got no job, dad just died, living with Mom, her mind is gone, I owe people money, what’s the point? Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 19, 2011 Dear Cary, I am 48, have hep C and Stage 2 cirrhosis of the liver. I have no job, missed too much work sick. Mom is all I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] My husband told me that he and my friend are attracted to each other — two days after my father died! Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUL 18, 2003 Dear Cary, This past Tuesday, my father died. Although it was not unexpected, I loved him deeply and am dealing with a lot of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, THURSDAY, JAN 30, 2003 My boyfriend promised we’d be engaged by Christmas but we weren’t. Should I let it go or move out? Dear Cary, I have been dating my boyfriend for four years, and living with him for most of that time. We started (I think...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I feel like I’ve failed at everything. How do I get back on track? Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, FEB 16, 2005 Dear Cary, I need help. I don’t know how my life got so badly off the rails, but it has. I have no idea what I can do to ever be happy again. I used to have a lot of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] My boyfriend is leaving for a career opportunity. Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, FEB 14, 2006 Dear Cary, My problem is, predictably, about love; selfish love vs. unconditional love. I don’t know whether to feel like a doormat or like a good person. I’ve been dating and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I desperately needed money so I agreed to her terms, but I find them chilling and bizarre Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Nov 21, 2010 Dear Cary, Almost 10 years ago my wealthy aunt loaned me some money. I have not seen or spoken to this aunt in many years now, nor have I repaid the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Do I boycott the wedding? Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, DEC 28, 2010 Dear Cary, My sister, who is 34 to my 30, has been dating a man in his early 40s on and off for the past 10 years. To give you some background on his character, when she first met him, he was in his early 30s...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] We’ve got a great life going. Let’s not spoil it. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, APR 9, 2009 Dear Cary, I had a great childhood, full of country walks and art projects and picture books. My parents loved each other and they loved me and my siblings. I was not, despite all...
We write and we write and we write on the Net, dispensing thoughts and advice. For what? Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, FEB 4, 2009 Dear Cary, My problem is that we have a one-day cycle in our writing, in our lives. You read our problems; then people read our problems in your column. Then people read our responses, but then the sun comes up again, and all our writing goes down on the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, Caitlyn Jenner recently made the poignant comment that, had she not transitioned, when the time came for her to die (as a man), she would have lain on her deathbed and thought, “I have blown my entire life.” I cannot stop thinking about that; it haunts me daily...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] She and I slept in the same bed. Her boyfriend wants an apology. But nothing happened! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 7, 2005 Dear Cary, My best friend (a woman) met a man last summer whom she is now living with in another state and will most likely marry in the next couple...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Aug 3, 2010 I do not love this cat. I do not like this cat. I want to slap this cat. Can’t I send it back, this cat? Dear Cary, I recently adopted a young cat from the animal shelter. She’s very sweet and loving and is really not all that badly...
I know it’s inevitable, but I can’t imagine how to get through it Dear Cary, I’m writing because I love your advice and follow your column avidly. I don’t have the time or focus to make this pithy. I’ve always envisioned writing you a clever and insightful letter someday, and this ain’t it. In a nutshell: I just learned my mother has a deadly cancer, her second round in two years. Despite what...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m not ready for cats and pottery class, but I don’t know how to deal with the fear. Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, FEB 7, 2006 Dear Cary, I find myself pondering the notion of dating again after the demise of a long-term relationship. I’m female and in my late 30s, and I find...
I fear I lack common sense in life, and this affects my performance. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 24, 2008 Dear Cary, How does one build common sense? I’m a 31-year-old who has been plagued for most of my adult life with this problem. I’m a software engineer by trade, but I really love the theoretical aspects more than the practical aspects: algorithms and design as opposed to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I could not have stayed in my country of birth, but I feel like my life in America is just unlucky Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 1, 2010 Dear Cary, I am so glad you are back. Thank you for still caring deeply for others while you are battling your health issues. I really need...
Dear Cary, I’ve been off and on, but mostly on, alcohol for over 20 years. Currently on. About eight months ago, I was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend I’ve known since kindergarten. We’ve stayed close through the years but I was rather surprised by the request. Come to find out this will be a lavish affair; I am one of 12 bridesmaids and God knows how many other members...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Is it just me, or is the world seriously not living up to its potential? Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, NOV 5, 2009 Dear Cary, I have decided to start keeping a journal, beginning each new entry, “Dear Cary.” It seems to propel my writing in a focused way. Unfortunately, not so...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I wanted to be the bride but I don’t like being the wife. Now I face the toughest decision of my life. Cary’s classic column from Friday, Aug 15, 2008 Dear Cary, I am a 25-year-old woman with two dogs and a sad marriage. I’ve been married going on three years and for the past one year or...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] My charismatic ex married a pretty young thing Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, APR 13, 2011 After 13 years and two kids, we still weren’t even married. So I’m burned but I’m not even the ex-wife Dear Cary, First of all, I want to tell you that I’ve been reading your column for...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m ruining my relationship because I’m too quick to argue. Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 8, 2005 Dear Cary, For as long as I can remember, I have been very bad at arguing with people. As soon as someone disagrees with me, I get angry because I feel attacked, like the other...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] There are certain signs that I have a problem with alcohol, but nothing terrible has happened so far. Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, MAY 27, 2005 Dear Cary, You write so eloquently about alcoholism and drinking problems in so many of your columns that I hope you can help me. I’m...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m involved with a married woman who has been abused by her husband. What should I do? Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Feb 3, 2004 Dear Cary, I recently got involved with a married woman. We had been good friends for quite some time. There was an immediate emotional connection upon...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m a wife, a mother and a doctoral candidate. I’m not the kind of person this happens to. What the hell am I doing? Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, OCT 6, 2008 Hi Cary, I’m a 28-year-old doctoral student, wife and mother; it’s a life I would’ve described once as busy, happy and...
I don’t know how to settle down. But I’m almost 30 and don’t want to waste my life! Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, OCT 3, 2008 Dear Cary, I’ve written to so many advice columnists and no one ever answers. I am plagued by problems — for years. In general, what the hell is the deal with me? I was so blithe and great and happy in childhood — but ever since I was, oh, 15, things have gone...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] He’s a gay person of color, but he’s against the minimum wage! Cary’s classic column from Sunday, THURSDAY, JUL 21, 2005 Dear Cary, I have been at my current position as an attorney at a law firm for less than a year. Although I work at a rather typical big law firm, I am a committed...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Oct 10, 2010 Drawn to a younger woman, I fear I’ll make a fool of myself Dear Cary, I am a man in my late 50s. I’ve been married for over 30 years and still love my wife deeply, although our marriage is largely sexless. However, recently I’ve become...
I’m having a rough time; I’d like some justice and some peace. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, OCT 2, 2008 Dear Cary, I am not sure where to start or even if I should be writing to you. I have been struggling with something, and at times I think that I have it beaten enough and that asking for help is just useless whining for attention. At other times, it rears up, and I think that it may...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, NOV 23, 2009 I’m getting sick of being “the editor’s girlfriend” Dear Cary, I’m a college student and a reporter for my university’s paper. I’m a good writer — my work has shown up in publications beyond the university, and since arriving here I’ve...
We were going to be married. I’m finally getting over the breakup when he calls and wants to be chummy! Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Sep 21, 2011 Dear Cary, About six months ago, the man I thought I was going to marry left me unceremoniously for another woman. During the aftermath — the moving out, the settling of affairs — he acted cruelly and horribly, cementing the split and making...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I know he’s screwed up, but as a little girl I idolized him Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, AUG 25, 2009 Dear Cary, This is an epically long letter — sorry. To some extent, I just needed to put it all down on paper so I could get a grip on it: see the patterns and find some coherence...
I’m doing the kind of work I love, but he’s earning so much more! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, FEB 16, 2006 Dear Cary, How do I get my husband to stop telling me that I make too little money? I am a full-time copy editor at a magazine, making what copy editors make when they first start out in their careers. I love my job and feel that I am well suited for it; unfortunately, the pay is...
I’m suicidal a year after my miscarriage. Nothing helps Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, MAY 31, 2012 Dear Cary, What happens when therapy doesn’t work? I’ve battled most of my life with depression, the causes of which are probably not of very much importance (absent alcoholic father, frequent moving, mentorless young adulthood, spotty employment, fear of commitment, and the crowning insult...
I’m a well-educated and intelligent woman, but childhood trauma has brought me to the edge of madness. Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JAN 10, 2005 Dear Cary, Ostensibly, I am a relatively well-educated, intelligent woman. I had a rough childhood. I was abused as a child; my usual punishment was caning, but my mother also pulled my hair and boxed my ears. I grew up minimizing the abuse. I was...