[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, MAY 16, 2005 I’m finally ready to deal with a long-lost love, but a recent breakup seems to be all I can think about. Dear Cary, I recently went through a breakup of a very short affair. Three months after it began it was completely over, by her choice...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, OCT 14, 2011 I may seem like I’m OK, but I’m hiding in my dorm room crying Dear Cary, I have been wanting to write to you for a while, but I always put it off because I think I can fix it myself or that the feeling will pass. As time wears on, I no...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, APR 3, 2008 I’m 21, female, and I don’t know how to talk to people! Dear Cary, I’ve recently come to the realization that I have no natural social skills. This is not really much of a surprise, considering I spent most of my childhood wondering if my...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, It’s been over a year since I moved from my childhood home. It’s been sold–the only home I knew for 20 years. Before I left, I read your advice column on letting go of your childhood home. It helped, and I did sit on my porch, and I wrote a letter and placed...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 3, 2009 They’ll drive us crazy if we stay. We want to move to Colorado! Dear Cary, This is hardly a new topic, but here goes. My husband and I have been married about a year and a half. We met, instantly fell in love and got married a short time...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, The theme of my letter is no different from the ones you probably receive by the dozens every day. I have gone through your site every morning devouring citations by troubled souls. But even when I spot some common patterns, I’m not sure why I feel my own problem is unique...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 31, 2007 My friend’s father is just one more reason feminism exists — but can we say that? Dear Cary, I have been friends with my best friend since we were 15 years old; we united because we both had crazy-ass parents. Hers was an abusive...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Jun 5, 2011 Sure, I’m crazy — for him! But I botched my approach! Now how do I wriggle out? Dear Cary: I have been following your column for years. I hope you can help me — I need concrete advice, almost like a to-do list on what to do next. I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, AUG 5, 2005 To stay in the country, he needs someone to sponsor him. Dear Cary, A friend of mine is in the U.S. on a work visa, and has recently married an American citizen. They married for all the right reasons — undying devotion, etc. — but an added...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 24, 2007 I’m already raising two kids of my own. Should I divorce her and go it alone? Dear Cary, About a month ago, I discovered my wife of one year had had a fling with a co-worker that she initiated. I found out, I’m ashamed to say, by...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, FEB 28, 2006 His relatives talk about “fags” and say girls in miniskirts deserve to be raped. Dear Cary, I have met a lovely guy at last after years of being single or dating disastrous men. I am now happy and secure and this man wants to marry me and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JAN 30, 2003 My boyfriend promised we’d be engaged by Christmas but we weren’t. Should I let it go or move out? Dear Cary, I have been dating my boyfriend for four years, and living with him for most of that time. We started (I think mutually) to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 20, 2005 I didn’t want to start a fight, so I told her it wasn’t so bad. But I hate what she’s doing. What should I do? Dear Cary, I am trying to be a good liberal parent who stays aware of what her 16-year-old daughter...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Mar 8, 2005 I’d like to stop drinking, but does that mean completely? All week long? Dear Cary, It seems like every other letter you answer has implications of alcoholism. The common theme that I see in your letters is that people can get by...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 15, 2010 I’m afraid to go into the bathroom, because of things that happened in childhood Dear Cary, You recently wrote about when “to change your life.” I think I’m there now. And it isn’t a problem with my problem that I’m writing about. Where I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 12, 2013 Can a devout Muslim and a Jewish atheist have a happy marriage? Hi Cary, I was born in the States to a conservative Muslim Indian family. My mother, younger brothers and I moved back to India when I was around 11, while my (very...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, APR 8, 2008 It’s not like I picked him up off the street. I’ve known him for 20 years. Once he was my boyfriend. Cary, I made the mistake of letting a homeless man move in with me. Now I can’t get rid of him. I’ve known this man for over 20 years. At...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Feb 6, 2004 I’m married to a wonderful man, but he doesn’t seem to share my fear of financial humiliation. Dear Cary, I have been spoiled with a very happy life. I am 26, married to a wonderful 34-year-old man whom I love more than anyone in the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Apr 16, 2008 Now my life is all screwed up and nothing works. Dear Cary, I turn 31 in a couple of weeks, and I feel like I’m unable to get my life together. I thought I would’ve had things sorted out by now, but I don’t. I don’t feel a whole lot more...
Dear Cary, Please help me process my murderous rage – a rage i suspect others share as well. I’m sorry you don’t seem to be on Salon anymore. You were pretty much the only reason I bothered with that site so I haven’t been in ages. I’m not 100% sure whether you’re still doing this advice thing or what the new protocol is, your site seems to indicate...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from SUNDAY, NOV 22, 2009 I think I’m a writer, but fear paralyzes me Dear Cary, I feel paralyzed and stuck in a rut. I recently graduated from college without a clear path and a hazy focus at best; I am lost and confused and can recognize that I self-sabotage any...
Hi! It’s me, Cary! How ya doin? I’m out of the pool eating toast and thinking about the novel. I’m committed to finishing by the end of May. I have it all planned out. It’s practically done! Finally. Plus yesterday I finished my application to Yaddo, thanks to my Finishing School commitment. It was a long day but I got it done before my 6pm writing coaching appointment...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUL 15, 2005 Mom and Dad say if I don’t lose weight, they won’t find me an apartment for grad school. Dear Cary, I am a 24-year-old young man who lives with his parents in a wealthy suburb of a major American city. I graduated from college three years...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, OCT 8, 2008 It’s taken me a long time to accept what my therapist has been pushing at — but I think I’m ready to act in my own interest. Dear Cary, I’m troubled. At long last, my therapist did something I sensed she meant to do a long time ago...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Dec 16, 2010 The avalanche of presents leaves me cold, but I feel guilty for opting out Dear Cary, I know this is a trivial problem but I’m fretting about it. I am single and I usually see my sister and her family at Christmas. There are eight...
Dear Cary, My husband of 16 years and I have never made an official list, but it’s always been accepted that were we to have, in some fantasyland, the opportunity to sleep with a certain few adored famous people, the sin would be exonerated. (I should mention here that over the years both of us have had our indiscretions with plain old normals, and while the aftermath has never been fun...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 15, 2008 I shouldn’t have looked in her diary, but maybe it’s best that I did. Dear Cary, This summer, my girlfriend went to Central America for three months. She was in spotty contact with me the whole time, saying it was difficult to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from SUNDAY, APR 10, 2011 We talked and I thought he was up for this, but now it looks like he never was Dear Cary, I am a 33-year-old married mother of one. While the discussion of having more children was always sort of tabled for my husband and me, after hearing...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 12, 2005 How can someone so special on the Internet be such a drag in real life? Dear Cary, I have this friend. Let’s call her Susan. Susan and I became friends online several years ago, through mutual (in person) friends. For several...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 6, 2009 I thought I could learn to love being a stepmom, but I don’t Dear Cary, I’m probably one of the most unromantic people who ever lived, and have always cringed when someone says they found their “soul mate” or their “one and only,” because...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, OCT 9, 2007 I’ve been a cheater since my very first boyfriend and no one has ever found out. Cary, I am a cheater. I’ve never had a boyfriend or husband that I didn’t cheat on. When I was younger, it would just be making out behind a boyfriend’s back;...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Sep 30, 2005 We’ll sit around with nothing to say, eating takeout food. Dear Cary, I know this is pretty early, but I’m already freaking out about hanging out with my family during Christmas. My family consists of my mother, my father, my brother and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUL 8, 2005 I fathered a child when I was a screwed-up loser and kept it secret all these years. Dear Cary, Boy, did I screw up. About 13 years ago, I fell for a friend of my sister’s and got her pregnant. I was at this point in my life a loser. I had...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Nov 30, 2010 I put my boyfriend through hell. How can I stop? Dear Cary, My problem is that I’m a pretty crappy girlfriend. I have been in a relationship for over a year with someone that I really care about. He and I met in graduate school and have...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUN 25, 2009 We got caught making out and now my mom’s all like you have to break up with him if you want to keep living here Dear Cary, My name is V and I’m 18 years old. I have a boyfriend and he’s 18 years old too, but the situation here is that my...