Cary’s classic column from Monday, Apr 16, 2012 We’re 4,000 miles apart. He wants me to join him but I don’t want to sit around the house Dear Cary, I got married about three months ago to a man I truly love and respect. We are both doctorates in the same field in the sciences. We’ve always been long distance — we met in undergrad, seven years ago, but started dating only three years ago...
Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUL 1, 2005 My problem is, I think I love my East Coast family more. Dear Cary, I’m hoping you can help with something that weighs on my mind a little heavier each day. I’m a 25-year-old professional woman, raised in Pennsylvania with four little brothers and sisters aged 18-23 whom I adore. A few years ago, I was working a post-college first job near my family...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 2, 2004 She wants me to leave under my own power — in a nice, quiet way. Dear Cary, I’ve been working at a high-tech company for about five years. My previous boss adored me, gave me good raises and promised me a promotion. Unfortunately...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, OCT 1, 2007 I am supposed to be managing 15 people, but they are crazy and unmanageable. What am I to do? Dear Cary, I supervise about 15 people at my job, 13 of whom are women. I am a man. It is an office environment, not high pressure, with relatively...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I could not have stayed in my country of birth, but I feel like my life in America is just unlucky Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 1, 2010 Dear Cary, I am so glad you are back. Thank you for still caring deeply for others while you are battling your health issues. I really need...
I don’t know how to settle down. But I’m almost 30 and don’t want to waste my life! Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, OCT 3, 2008 Dear Cary, I’ve written to so many advice columnists and no one ever answers. I am plagued by problems — for years. In general, what the hell is the deal with me? I was so blithe and great and happy in childhood — but ever since I was, oh, 15, things have gone...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, NOV 23, 2009 I’m getting sick of being “the editor’s girlfriend” Dear Cary, I’m a college student and a reporter for my university’s paper. I’m a good writer — my work has shown up in publications beyond the university, and since arriving here I’ve...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m trying to get a job where my boyfriend’s living and it’s just not working! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, MAY 5, 2005 Dear Cary, My boyfriend and I were together for the first year of our relationship, then moved to separate cities after college. That was two years ago. I’ve...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I know what to do and how to do it but I’m paralyzed! Soon my whole work life is going to come crashing down! (Cary’s classic column from Friday, March 7, 2008) Dear Cary, It may be too late for me. I’m committing professional suicide. I see exactly what I’m doing, and I can’t stop...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 4, 2008 He seems to believe that when I travel I must be sleeping with my boss. Dear Cary, I married my second husband in 2002, just a couple of months after completing chemo treatments for ovarian cancer. We’d been together a year and a...
Dear Cary, Please help me process my murderous rage – a rage i suspect others share as well. I’m sorry you don’t seem to be on Salon anymore. You were pretty much the only reason I bothered with that site so I haven’t been in ages. I’m not 100% sure whether you’re still doing this advice thing or what the new protocol is, your site seems to indicate...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from SUNDAY, OCT 17, 2010 We grew up differently. I got great guidance from parents and friends. He kind of drifted. Now he’s in a tough spot Dear Cary, I have something of a quandary with a friend of mine. He’s my oldest friend, we’ve known each other since we were...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, APR 21, 2008 I hate my job and hated my last job and feel like a failure. But is it my fault? Dear Cary, I find myself running in circles, around and around inside my head. I just started a new job and I despise it. Everyone was so excited for me to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, SEP 15, 2004 You’d think a Ph.D. in Renaissance literature from an Ivy League school would count for something in the business world. Dear Cary, On paper, I am talented, bright, creative … almost perfect. I am 33 years old; I have a Ph.D. in...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, OCT 6, 2009 I’ve got only a genetic disease and old age to look forward to Dear Cary, I have been reading your column for a while and always find your advice useful in a roundabout way, but I especially find it honest. I’m going to be...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Aug 19, 2004 My boss uses what I write in e-mails as his own. What should I do about it? Dear Cary, I’m an in-house copywriter/creative director with a small technical company, working for a boss whose communications skills, to put it...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Dec 5, 2002 Should I give up my career and live the life of an Italian housewife? Dear Cary, I graduated from college nearly two years ago and moved to Italy, where I have fallen in love with a wonderful man I have known since April and dated...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Apr 29, 2009 I was fired and I’m making restitution, but I’m dying of shame. Dear Cary, I stole a large sum of money over a period of time from my job and was appropriately fired. I agreed to work out a repayment plan for all the...
Am I doing it right? [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Reader, When I was writing the Since You Asked advice column for Salon.com, I often would meander from the “given” form in ways that some readers found aesthetically displeasing. They were experiencing genre shock. (As though...
Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JUN 16, 2008 I refuse to apologize for taking a stand that is in the best interests of the company. Dear Cary, I am having a little difficulty knowing where the line dividing personal assistant and administrative staff lies. I’ve been harshly reprimanded for questioning or challenging a principal on a matter that I felt was an abuse of company resources and the...
Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUN 5, 2008 I drank some wine, took my pills, boarded the plane and woke up on a gurney! Dear Cary, I am writing to you because I have been through what feels like a very traumatic experience and I need to find a way to put it behind me. Recently, I was on a flight from my local airport to another destination for work purposes. The flight was to be...
Dear reader, Below is another archival column from Cary. He’ll be publishing a brand new column next week. As always, if you would like advice, please write to [email protected]. Happy New Year! Classic column from October 17, 2012 I’m going crazy in my job I’m anxious and insecure and paranoid and bored — but it’s such a great job! Hi Cary: Two reasons...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I need your help before I really mess things up for myself. I’m a single woman in my early 50s, I enjoy my job, nice people, understanding boss, etc. Earlier this year I spoke to my boss about a promotion/raise. She felt it was worthwhile to pursue and said...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I’m in my 50s with a career in my chosen field. The pay isn’t great — never is in this field — but I love what I do. I consider myself very lucky to have found this job. However, the recession and continuing economic mess have not been good to my...