Dear Cary – My creative doubts have been simmering like a mild poison in my heart and mind for years and I’m starting to hate myself. I need to do something about it. Nine years ago I was living on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. By age 31 I had accidentally become a loudmouth, performance-arty, punk-rocky type person. I say accidentally because as a dull-witted, privileged...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Jun 21, 2004 Is it possible to go out with two women at the same time and get away with it? Dear Cary, I’m in a bind: After going a couple of years without a serious relationship, I recently met two very cool women in the course of two days. Gal...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Oct 6, 2003 But he’s an artist. Should I boot him? Dear Cary, My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year — my longest and best male/male relationship. Right before we met, he quit his lucrative job in retail to go back to school...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I recently hurt myself at work and was forced to take a few months off. I received worker’s compensation but it didn’t cover my bills and I ended up burning through my savings. Still, I was happy just to have all my physical therapy paid for. Then...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jul 20, 2004 Our son has asked us to be cool toward the parents of his ex-girlfriend. Should we do what he wants? Dear Cary, My college-age son just went through a nasty breakup with his girlfriend, which was largely due to her treating him...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I’ve had a problem for most of my life of being a procrastinator. When I was younger, I just thought that’s how it was. I did well in school but I’d usually wait until the last minute to do my assignments. When I got into college, I was...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Aug 19, 2004 My boss uses what I write in e-mails as his own. What should I do about it? Dear Cary, I’m an in-house copywriter/creative director with a small technical company, working for a boss whose communications skills, to put it...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 20, 2009 This guy in our neighborhood has it rough, but I need to maintain clear boundaries Dear Cary, A neighbor of mine needs help. He is effectively homeless, although I think he might have a cot of some sort in another neighbor’s garage...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Jul 11, 2003 I have four kids, so should I break with my sometimes violent boyfriend? Dear Cary, I’m a mother of four: three preteen boys from my marriage at the tender age of 19, and a 3-year-old daughter with my current live-in boyfriend...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Dec 5, 2002 Should I give up my career and live the life of an Italian housewife? Dear Cary, I graduated from college nearly two years ago and moved to Italy, where I have fallen in love with a wonderful man I have known since April and dated...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I love your column. I hope you can help me. I have a multitude of problems all happening at the same time in my life. Well, some started years ago, but as long as they happened one at a time, I managed to get through them. Right now they seem to be taking place...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Feb 24, 2003 I’m in a passionless marriage and I’m going to have an affair — just thought I’d let you know in case you have some advice. Dear Cary, My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years. We love each...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, DEC 10, 2002 She not only lives with us but also comes in and lies on our bed and watches TV with us. Dear Cary, I’m in a great relationship with a good man. We have been together for a year now and he is good to me, he treats me with so much...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Apr 25, 2003 I’ve kept my HIV-positive status to myself except for one time — and that person doesn’t communicate with me anymore. Dear Cary, I really like the humane advice you give and I need some myself. I am HIV positive and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 20, 2004 He screwed my 17-year-old sister on my wedding night, and threatened to have my kneecaps broken! Dear Cary, I live in a Scandinavian country. I moved here a little over a year ago to be with my love and recently got married...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 27, 2006 I like this guy a lot, but the poundage is a turnoff. Dear Cary, Currently I’m dating a man who just won’t leave my consciousness, not for a moment. I think of him all the time. He’s pretty special. My problem is this: This...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jul 17, 2012 He followed me on a work-related move and now he’s sitting around reading comic books Cary, About six months ago, I got a major promotion that came with a moderate pay raise. I needed to transfer from my company’s Northern...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Apr 29, 2009 I was fired and I’m making restitution, but I’m dying of shame. Dear Cary, I stole a large sum of money over a period of time from my job and was appropriately fired. I agreed to work out a repayment plan for all the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jun 26, 2012 I can’t afford to go plus I dread seeing my mean, stupid ex and his shiny new whatever Hi Cary, My question is simple, but the back story is complicated. A very good, old friend of mine is getting married this fall. She...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Apr 15, 2008 He says he’s not really following politics, but is planning to vote anyway. Dear Cary, My 84-year-old father voted a straight ticket in the 2008 primary. Now he says that at his age he doesn’t keep up with politics anymore...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jun 21, 2005 I’m pretty. I’m 23. I’m in a wheelchair. Now what? Dear Cary, Due to an accident, my leg and part of my hip had to be amputated. As you can imagine, this completely devastated me … I was only 22 when it happened...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Aug 25, 2011 05:20 PM PDT I thought I could bring him home, but he got loaded and disappeared Dear Cary, Recently — within the past couple of months — I went on a search to find my father. I can count how many times I’ve seen him in my life and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Aug 25, 2008 His 9-year-old has Tourette’s and ADHD, and I’m still a student … is this a good idea? Hello, I’m a 23-year-old student and I am moving in with my boyfriend (29) and his son (9) this week. I’ve realized as the date...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I am seeing a great guy, but things have recently become very ambiguous between us and I’m not sure the best course of action for me. We were dating for a little over two months, it was a slowly deepening fantastic and mature relationship, and I care for him...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Apr 28, 2011 Since they got suddenly rich, all they talk about is how hard it is to get good help Hi, Cary – In a nutshell, the problem is that my three best friends have all inherited substantial money in the past two years. My husband and I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Mar 12, 2012 I’ve never told anyone what my dad did to me when I was 10. Should I just keep it bottled up? Dear Cary, Well first of all, man, I’ve never done something like this, ever, so it’s kinda scary. But here’s the deal. I’m a guy...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I love reading your column. You write straight to the point with witty remarks yet underline it with great depth and advice. I’m in desperate need of advice. So, here goes. I’m in my late twenties, done a lot of introspection and I’ve finally...
Cary’s classic column from Sep 3, 2009 They’ll drive us crazy if we stay. We want to move to Colorado! Dear Cary, This is hardly a new topic, but here goes. My husband and I have been married about a year and a half. We met, instantly fell in love and got married a short time later. We are in our mid-30s and know ourselves well, so there was no reason to wait. And we are crazy happy with...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Jul 24, 2006 If we were to marry, could we make it work? Dear Cary, I’ve been dating a good man for the last seven months. We have loads of fun together; we’re both creative types who pursue our passions in our own time while working at jobs related to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, MAY 6, 2008 We think she’s out of control, and we think she should tell her boyfriend. Dear Cary, I am writing to you to get advice about a friend of mine who has some rather troubling issues that I fear may one day turn into very serious issues...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Nov 6, 2007 My father was full of rage and insult, and I sat mute through his tirades. Now I’m exploding at people too. Dear Cary, So I grew up in an abusive household. Not the “my dad gets drunk and smashes a lamp over my mother’s head” kind of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Feb 27, 2004 I’m a good girl, but I can’t seem to stop. Dear Cary, I had to have liquid courage to be able to write this message. I’m married. I’ve been having an affair for nearly a year. It’s the same-old, same-old someone-I-work-with...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Reader, I thought that every time I do a column I would write something but today I don’t really want to write anything about myself. I really do not like writing about myself. Or do I? Actually, what happens is that initially writing about myself is frustrating because I do...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column WEDNESDAY, JAN 22, 2003 12:05 PM PST My husband “goes at it” with porn and sex toys right in front of me! Dear Cary, Lately, my husband of 10 years has developed a fascination (obsession?) with video porn and vibrating sex toys. He says he’s sick of...
Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 25, 2007 By the time you read this, she’ll probably be gone. Why couldn’t I be by her side? Dear Cary, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and need advice. So here I am. I’ll cut to the point: My 63-year-old mother will most likely be deceased by the time you receive this. After a number of years battling multiple sclerosis, the drugs...