Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, NOV 4, 2005 My wife says returning home after college is the new normal — but if they return, I may have to leave. Dear Cary, I am 46 and the father of two children, ages 16 and 20 (juniors in college and high school, respectively). My wife and I married very young, had our kids a little earlier than expected, embraced it and made what we felt was the...
Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 30, 2007 They thought the baby would fix things, but he didn’t, so the dad split. Does that mean he’s no good? Dear Cary, Early this year, one of the greatest bright spots in my life occurred: I became an uncle. After 10 years of bleak family moments, we all finally had a moment of renewal. My older brother called me (I’m an expat and haven’t actually seen...
Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Jul 20, 2011 I thought I knew him. Then he loaded up his U-Haul Cary, I had a really boring suburban life for a long time, wishing that something would make it interesting. I had a good relationship with my family and I thought that my parents would stay together forever. Then we got hit with a hurricane. After the hurricane I spent a lot more time talking to...
Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, AUG 22, 2008 02:50 AM PDT He thought he’d be returning home to die. But she just strung him along until he was gone. Dear Cary: My elderly father had been ill. After improving, he went directly from the hospital into a nursing home. We never told him he was never coming home. My mother said keeping up some sort of illusion of his eventual return was a way to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, NOV 1, 2005 I have certain hazy memories that give me the creeps, but I really don’t know the truth. Dear Cary, I’ll try to make this short. I’m a 27-year-old man. I’ve blown every good relationship I have ever been in. Sometimes I wonder if my...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, NOV 18, 2002 I have a wonderful daughter but no love or romance, and life just sucks. Dear Cary, So, I just turned 40. So far, it sucks, thank you very much. There’s something about a “magic number” birthday like 40 that brings the suckiness of one’s...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 30, 2009 I don’t think I’m comfortable with my 17-year-old bringing 16-year-old girls home — but what to do? Dear Cary: Last night I discovered my 17-year-old son brought a girl to stay the night. To say the least it was unexpected and I...
I’m having a rough time; I’d like some justice and some peace. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, OCT 2, 2008 Dear Cary, I am not sure where to start or even if I should be writing to you. I have been struggling with something, and at times I think that I have it beaten enough and that asking for help is just useless whining for attention. At other times, it rears up, and I think that it may...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I know he’s screwed up, but as a little girl I idolized him Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, AUG 25, 2009 Dear Cary, This is an epically long letter — sorry. To some extent, I just needed to put it all down on paper so I could get a grip on it: see the patterns and find some coherence...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, MAY 1, 2009 Due to an “error,” the stepdaughter gets everything. Dear Cary, It really is not about the money. My dad worked two and three jobs his whole life and ended up with a relatively small estate to distribute among his eight kids and his...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m not sure how much filial devotion I owe my father, now that he’s talking about buying a rifle. Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, APR 4, 2007 Dear Cary, Since our mother’s death four and a half years ago, the burden of caring for our elderly father has fallen to my siblings and me...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] The family’s never gotten along, but I want to give my bride the wedding of her dreams. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 23, 2004 Dear Cary, I’m 26 years old and divorced. I’m engaged to be married to my best friend from college, the woman I should have been with since day one...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] He’s a Vietnam vet and a retired civil servant. Now his mind’s been warped by Fox News! He’s gone Obama-nuts! (Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAY 19, 2010) Dear Cary, I am writing because I am feeling more and more estranged from my father in the last few years, and I would like...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, MAY 19, 2008 He remarried, he moved, and now all his savings are gone! Dear Cary, I recently returned from a trip to Las Vegas where my father gave me news that made me furious. I’m not really prone to anger, which makes this even more surprising. My...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JAN 31, 2005 Should I break it off now and look for a man who wants to raise a family? Dear Cary, I’m a 31-year-old smart, cute, funny, perennially happy physician who is in love with a 38-year-old chemistry professor. He is everything I want in a man...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 3, 2009 They’ll drive us crazy if we stay. We want to move to Colorado! Dear Cary, This is hardly a new topic, but here goes. My husband and I have been married about a year and a half. We met, instantly fell in love and got married a short time...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 31, 2007 My friend’s father is just one more reason feminism exists — but can we say that? Dear Cary, I have been friends with my best friend since we were 15 years old; we united because we both had crazy-ass parents. Hers was an abusive...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 24, 2007 I’m already raising two kids of my own. Should I divorce her and go it alone? Dear Cary, About a month ago, I discovered my wife of one year had had a fling with a co-worker that she initiated. I found out, I’m ashamed to say, by...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from SUNDAY, APR 10, 2011 We talked and I thought he was up for this, but now it looks like he never was Dear Cary, I am a 33-year-old married mother of one. While the discussion of having more children was always sort of tabled for my husband and me, after hearing...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUL 8, 2005 I fathered a child when I was a screwed-up loser and kept it secret all these years. Dear Cary, Boy, did I screw up. About 13 years ago, I fell for a friend of my sister’s and got her pregnant. I was at this point in my life a loser. I had...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, SEP 9, 2008 Divorced, they’ve been squabbling in courts for over a decade. Dear Cary, I write this letter to you with the hope of gaining some clarity in a situation that it appears I cannot remove myself from. My parents have been divorced for more...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column THURSDAY, OCT 4, 2007 03:10 AM PDT I don’t believe in God but I want to allay her fears. Hi, I am the father of a 13-year-old daughter whose mother has been taking her to an evangelical Christian church her whole life. Her mother’s family is entirely Christian. I am...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 22, 2005 Why did he spend 18 years with my mom? Did he know all along, or what? Dear Cary, Two months ago my dad moved out of the house. For about two years he has been depressed and then he started to have a drinking problem. My mom tried...
Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, AUG 30, 2004 [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m afraid she’s a gold digger. Besides, it’s too soon after Mom’s death for Dad to have a girlfriend. Dear Cary, I am 24 years old and currently attending graduate school in fine art. About a year ago, my mother died from breast cancer...
Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, January 22, 2008 [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Way back when, he gave up rights to the child, but now I want to know my half-sibling. Dear Cary, Until a few years ago the only issue I had with my dad was his drinking and resulting behavior. A family member recently uncovered...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Jul 11, 2003 I have four kids, so should I break with my sometimes violent boyfriend? Dear Cary, I’m a mother of four: three preteen boys from my marriage at the tender age of 19, and a 3-year-old daughter with my current live-in boyfriend...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Apr 15, 2008 He says he’s not really following politics, but is planning to vote anyway. Dear Cary, My 84-year-old father voted a straight ticket in the 2008 primary. Now he says that at his age he doesn’t keep up with politics anymore...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Aug 25, 2011 05:20 PM PDT I thought I could bring him home, but he got loaded and disappeared Dear Cary, Recently — within the past couple of months — I went on a search to find my father. I can count how many times I’ve seen him in my life and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Mar 12, 2012 I’ve never told anyone what my dad did to me when I was 10. Should I just keep it bottled up? Dear Cary, Well first of all, man, I’ve never done something like this, ever, so it’s kinda scary. But here’s the deal. I’m a guy...
Cary’s classic column from Sep 3, 2009 They’ll drive us crazy if we stay. We want to move to Colorado! Dear Cary, This is hardly a new topic, but here goes. My husband and I have been married about a year and a half. We met, instantly fell in love and got married a short time later. We are in our mid-30s and know ourselves well, so there was no reason to wait. And we are crazy happy with...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, This is the second time I write to you. I don’t want to take advantage of you, but your advice has given me such a wise and comforting, yet concrete external point of view through which looking at my problem that helped me a lot, and I really look up to your...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column fromWednesday, Nov 21, 2012 He was a terrible father and I want him out of my life Hi, Cary, Growing up, my dad was verbally and emotionally abusive. He became physically abusive toward my brother but stuck to mind games with my mother and me. In eighth...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, Thank you for deciding to keep your column alive. I am writing to you from Italy, a country you must have a special spot for since you even organize your workshops/retreats here. I am not Italian but it has little to do with my story. I grew up in a troubled family. My father...