Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, APR 24, 2007 I’m crazy in love with my two sisters’ five kids. I feel like helping to raise them would give my life meaning. Dear Cary, My younger sisters each recently had two babies apiece — two boys on one side, two girls on the other side. There’s also a fantastic 7-year-old in the mix. I have, quite frankly, fallen in love with these children. I am not a...
Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JAN 27, 2005 Like a man waking up from a coma, I suddenly realize in my 40s: My life is a sad, painful, ugly ordeal! Dear Cary, This past year has been pretty painful. I feel that I have lived a failed life. About a year ago it was like I woke up from a long coma and for the first time clearly saw my life for what it has been. I started looking back on...
Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, DEC 14, 2007 I seem to be OK on the outside, but inside … you don’t even want to know. Dear Cary, I have never written to an advice column before, and I chose you because although I sometimes disagree with your advice, I find I can never predict what that advice will be based on the advisee’s letter. Here’s my problem: I secretly hate myself. I know why...
Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUL 1, 2005 My problem is, I think I love my East Coast family more. Dear Cary, I’m hoping you can help with something that weighs on my mind a little heavier each day. I’m a 25-year-old professional woman, raised in Pennsylvania with four little brothers and sisters aged 18-23 whom I adore. A few years ago, I was working a post-college first job near my family...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column TUESDAY, MAR 21, 2006 I have so much potential I can’t decide what to do! Dear Cary, I’m 23 and panicking. I’ve been working at a fairly small company in New York for about two years now. Immersed in my studies during my senior year at college, I hadn’t looked very...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 5, 2004 I thought my husband was stupid, but he’s just got attention deficit disorder. Dear Cary, I’m 40 years old, married for 19 years, with three boys ages 4, 8 and 14, who are constantly and completely amazing to me. I never finished college...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, OCT 17, 2003 I’ve been with one woman for my adult life, but now I feel closer to someone else. Dear Cary, I am a 42-year-old man married for six years; previous to marriage, my wife and I were together for 15 years. Do the math, and you’ll see that...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, AUG 1, 2005 I’ve got this situation with my husband that’s really rough. Maybe I should move on? Dear Cary – My husband wants to go visit his lovers. And I’m strongly considering moving on. My husband has been cultivating a relationship with two men...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] My boyfriend is great, but I was never swept off my feet. What is this nagging feeling? Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JAN 21, 2003 Dear Cary, I’ve spent the past six years of my life with a wonderful man who is educated, caring, wonderfully attentive, incredibly expressive...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from SUNDAY, DEC 4, 2011 How can I make this year’s gathering tolerable, at least? Dear Cary, So, this is a boring question but a timely one. It’s That Time of Year again, when the secular and religious Christians descend upon the homes of their relatives to give...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, NOV 18, 2002 I have a wonderful daughter but no love or romance, and life just sucks. Dear Cary, So, I just turned 40. So far, it sucks, thank you very much. There’s something about a “magic number” birthday like 40 that brings the suckiness of one’s...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUN 7, 2006 I’m accomplished and responsible but they treat me like a loser. Dear Cary, I have a great job, own my own home, car, dog and medium-size 401K, have put myself through college and law school. I am not a loser! So why does my whole family...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JAN 28, 2013 Back in the States after the Peace Corps, I feel lost, like it’s unreal Dear Cary, After graduating from college, I joined the Peace Corps. This whole growing up thing has been great, by the way! There are more interesting things to learn...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Oct 25, 2010 I got restless and fooled around and now I’ve come back. Why do I feel I’ve betrayed myself? Dear Cary, This is going to sound very weird, coming from a man and all. I’m a pretty well-set guy in my low 50s, good income, very athletic and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, APR 22, 2003 I’m with a man who says he doesn’t believe in love, but he’s loving when he’s with me. Help! Dear Cary, Around four months ago I started dating this guy, “Steve,” who I met over the Internet. Steve is tall, funny and smart. He tells me...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JAN 11, 2008 I don’t know if this is just typical midlife stuff, or if I’m in serious psychological trouble. Dear Cary: I am a suburban husband in my 40s with two wonderful kids, a good marriage, a secure job and financial situation, no medical...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, OCT 19, 2006 It was good to separate from their alcoholic dad — but I feel bad about bringing my kids to the city. Dear Cary, My husband and I are recently separated. To make a long story short, he developed a serious drinking habit over the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUN 8, 2006 I’m only 21 but I’m itching to get hitched! Dear Cary, For slightly over a year I have been in a serious relationship with the best human being I have ever met. He’s principled, loyal, wickedly funny and just the right kind of twisted. We...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JAN 6, 2005 We’ve been in counseling for about six months now, but it doesn’t seem to be affecting them. Dear Cary, You and other sage advice givers often recommend that people seek therapy for their problems, especially when a couple or family needs...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Now that I’m finally free to leave my drag of a husband, he’s cleaning up his act. Should I leave him anyway? Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 10, 2003 Dear Cary, For over a decade I promised myself I would move out of the house the day my youngest went off to college. For years...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m 43 and I’ve always been beautiful, and now I am in a state of shock at what’s happening! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, NOV 15, 2007 Dear Cary, I am a 43-year-old woman. I have been married and soon will be again. I do not have children. Without sounding like an arrogant...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I feel like I’ve failed at everything. How do I get back on track? Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, FEB 16, 2005 Dear Cary, I need help. I don’t know how my life got so badly off the rails, but it has. I have no idea what I can do to ever be happy again. I used to have a lot of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] My boyfriend is leaving for a career opportunity. Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, FEB 14, 2006 Dear Cary, My problem is, predictably, about love; selfish love vs. unconditional love. I don’t know whether to feel like a doormat or like a good person. I’ve been dating and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] We’ve got a great life going. Let’s not spoil it. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, APR 9, 2009 Dear Cary, I had a great childhood, full of country walks and art projects and picture books. My parents loved each other and they loved me and my siblings. I was not, despite all...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I could not have stayed in my country of birth, but I feel like my life in America is just unlucky Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 1, 2010 Dear Cary, I am so glad you are back. Thank you for still caring deeply for others while you are battling your health issues. I really need...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Is it just me, or is the world seriously not living up to its potential? Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, NOV 5, 2009 Dear Cary, I have decided to start keeping a journal, beginning each new entry, “Dear Cary.” It seems to propel my writing in a focused way. Unfortunately, not so...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] My charismatic ex married a pretty young thing Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, APR 13, 2011 After 13 years and two kids, we still weren’t even married. So I’m burned but I’m not even the ex-wife Dear Cary, First of all, I want to tell you that I’ve been reading your column for...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m ruining my relationship because I’m too quick to argue. Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 8, 2005 Dear Cary, For as long as I can remember, I have been very bad at arguing with people. As soon as someone disagrees with me, I get angry because I feel attacked, like the other...
I don’t know how to settle down. But I’m almost 30 and don’t want to waste my life! Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, OCT 3, 2008 Dear Cary, I’ve written to so many advice columnists and no one ever answers. I am plagued by problems — for years. In general, what the hell is the deal with me? I was so blithe and great and happy in childhood — but ever since I was, oh, 15, things have gone...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Oct 10, 2010 Drawn to a younger woman, I fear I’ll make a fool of myself Dear Cary, I am a man in my late 50s. I’ve been married for over 30 years and still love my wife deeply, although our marriage is largely sexless. However, recently I’ve become...
I’m doing the kind of work I love, but he’s earning so much more! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, FEB 16, 2006 Dear Cary, How do I get my husband to stop telling me that I make too little money? I am a full-time copy editor at a magazine, making what copy editors make when they first start out in their careers. I love my job and feel that I am well suited for it; unfortunately, the pay is...
I want desperately to have a child, and so does he. Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, FEB 23, 2005 Dear Cary, I am married to the man of my dreams — except for one thing: He won’t touch me. I’m not just talking about sex; I mean he’s averse to basic human contact. We’re down to a chaste kiss as he leaves for work, an occasional hug when I ask, and sometimes another chaste good-night kiss...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m trying to get a job where my boyfriend’s living and it’s just not working! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, MAY 5, 2005 Dear Cary, My boyfriend and I were together for the first year of our relationship, then moved to separate cities after college. That was two years ago. I’ve...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I have an offer to study in the Arctic, but I’d have to leave my boyfriend behind. Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, MAY 2, 2006 Dear Cary, I am at a crossroads in life and it is difficult. I have been working since high school, building my résumé. I finished my Ph.D., and have had a...
Should I pick up and move four hours away to be with the man I love? Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, MAR 19, 2007 Dear Cary, I have to make a decision and I need your help. Decisions have never been my forte, but for the past 11 years I’ve been able to make them pretty well because I had a kid. When you have a kid you make decisions that will help the kid. As much as possible. So I went back...