[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Apr 28, 2011 Since they got suddenly rich, all they talk about is how hard it is to get good help Hi, Cary – In a nutshell, the problem is that my three best friends have all inherited substantial money in the past two years. My husband and I...
Cary’s classic column from Sep 3, 2009 They’ll drive us crazy if we stay. We want to move to Colorado! Dear Cary, This is hardly a new topic, but here goes. My husband and I have been married about a year and a half. We met, instantly fell in love and got married a short time later. We are in our mid-30s and know ourselves well, so there was no reason to wait. And we are crazy happy with...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, May 26, 2005 He’s had some tough blows lately, but I’m concerned he’s really losing it. Dear Cary, My younger brother, 40, is an anxious, depressed social recluse. He lives with his dog in a basement apartment alone. He never answers...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Jul 24, 2006 If we were to marry, could we make it work? Dear Cary, I’ve been dating a good man for the last seven months. We have loads of fun together; we’re both creative types who pursue our passions in our own time while working at jobs related to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, MAY 6, 2008 We think she’s out of control, and we think she should tell her boyfriend. Dear Cary, I am writing to you to get advice about a friend of mine who has some rather troubling issues that I fear may one day turn into very serious issues...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Nov 6, 2007 My father was full of rage and insult, and I sat mute through his tirades. Now I’m exploding at people too. Dear Cary, So I grew up in an abusive household. Not the “my dad gets drunk and smashes a lamp over my mother’s head” kind of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Feb 27, 2004 I’m a good girl, but I can’t seem to stop. Dear Cary, I had to have liquid courage to be able to write this message. I’m married. I’ve been having an affair for nearly a year. It’s the same-old, same-old someone-I-work-with...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Reader, I thought that every time I do a column I would write something but today I don’t really want to write anything about myself. I really do not like writing about myself. Or do I? Actually, what happens is that initially writing about myself is frustrating because I do...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column WEDNESDAY, JAN 22, 2003 12:05 PM PST My husband “goes at it” with porn and sex toys right in front of me! Dear Cary, Lately, my husband of 10 years has developed a fascination (obsession?) with video porn and vibrating sex toys. He says he’s sick of...
Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 25, 2007 By the time you read this, she’ll probably be gone. Why couldn’t I be by her side? Dear Cary, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and need advice. So here I am. I’ll cut to the point: My 63-year-old mother will most likely be deceased by the time you receive this. After a number of years battling multiple sclerosis, the drugs...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column Tuesday, JUL 21, 2003 What do I owe him? Dear Cary, Last year I went to visit a divorce lawyer, having finally got up the nerve to end a 29-year marriage (I’m 49) to a physically and emotionally abusive man. I had been seeing a wonderful man for some time, and we...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column WEDNESDAY, JUL 2, 2003 My friend is married to a beautiful Russian woman, but I see a train wreck in their future. Dear Cary, A friend of mine has a problem, and I am not sure how to help him. I recently returned to the United States from two years in Russia. While...
Am I doing it right? [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Reader, When I was writing the Since You Asked advice column for Salon.com, I often would meander from the “given” form in ways that some readers found aesthetically displeasing. They were experiencing genre shock. (As though...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column Tuesday, NOV 4, 2003 10:29 AM PST I had a crush on a colleague, and now she wants to be friends, but I don’t. How do I get rid of her? Dear Cary, I’m a Salon reader from Mexico and I enjoy reading your column very much. Now I need your advice. I am a medical...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JUN 20, 2005 A snafu on bridesmaids dresses resulted in a refund to the bride — but she never passed it on to the bridesmaids and the groomsmen. Dear Cary, A little over a month ago, I was one of eight bridesmaids in my brother’s wedding. The...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column Tuesday, Mar 18, 2008 I have a feeling maybe I should move to the city, but I like my job, I like my town and I like my family. Dear Cary, I have several concurrent problems for you. Bet you can’t wait. Firstly, my job … I work in a small gas station as a cashier...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Apr 20, 2007 Accidents happen. He was inexperienced. But he’s not owning up. In fact he’s sort of acting like a dick! Cary, My longtime boyfriend and I went on a holiday in Colorado with a bunch of others, which included ice-climbing practice. My...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column fromWednesday, Nov 21, 2012 He was a terrible father and I want him out of my life Hi, Cary, Growing up, my dad was verbally and emotionally abusive. He became physically abusive toward my brother but stuck to mind games with my mother and me. In eighth...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hello Cary, I am writing on how to think about a new situation. Some background: I briefly “dated” a man back in 2005. It was a long distance thing since I met him on a trip in another country, so for better or worse, we were as best friends. When our...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, MAR 16, 2009 We’ve got Republicans, we’ve got liberals, and it’s getting ugly. Dear CT, Like many extended families, ours has people who live and breathe Republican doctrine, and people who are liberal. Since the early Bush years, we have given each...
Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUN 15, 2007 I’m aghast to find I’ll be sharing an office with a man whom — for good but confidential reasons — I utterly detest. Dear Cary, I need your perspective on an issue that may not have a solution that I will ever find satisfying … but here goes. I recently started working for a new employer and I have been very happy in...
Archival column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 9, 2008 Now I’m depressed and suicidal and very few people know why. Cary, I am unsure of how to articulate the reason I am writing you. There is an F. Scott Fitzgerald quote, “In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning.” I have been experiencing a soul-crushing depression that I can only utter through vague quotes and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, FEB 23, 2009 My boss and boyfriend say I act like I’m omniscient. Dear Cary: In the last 12 hours both my boyfriend and my boss have accused me of being a know-it-all (one of them did it politely and gave me a raise, but the other...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I have been reading your letters for years, and usually I can find plenty of guidance through your responses to others. This time, I would like your thoughts directly. I am a divorced mom of an elementary school child. I was married for a long time, and got divorced...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, SEP 10, 2007 This couple is about to have a baby and there’s no room for me — but it’s my place! Dear Cary, About three years ago, a good friend of mine from college needed a place to live … fast. As it turned out, I...
Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JUN 16, 2008 I refuse to apologize for taking a stand that is in the best interests of the company. Dear Cary, I am having a little difficulty knowing where the line dividing personal assistant and administrative staff lies. I’ve been harshly reprimanded for questioning or challenging a principal on a matter that I felt was an abuse of company resources and the...
Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUN 5, 2008 I drank some wine, took my pills, boarded the plane and woke up on a gurney! Dear Cary, I am writing to you because I have been through what feels like a very traumatic experience and I need to find a way to put it behind me. Recently, I was on a flight from my local airport to another destination for work purposes. The flight was to be...
Cary’s classic column fromTHURSDAY, MAR 27, 2008 To disguise a neighbor’s less-than-pristine house, she planted a hedge on the other person’s land! Dear Cary, We live next door to an elderly lady who owns her home, and has for well over 40 years. The home has fallen into serious disrepair, and neither she nor her very ill live-at-home son can keep up with the maintenance...
Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, DEC 22, 2008 I’ve been dating her husband, but now she wants him back! Dear Cary, For the past seven months, I have been dating and falling in love with a man who is in the final stages of his divorce. After six years of marriage, it’s been a year and a half since they were together. Throughout their marriage she’d repeatedly cheated...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUN 1, 2006 Cary, I have a problem that I don’t know how to fix. Three years ago, a year after I became engaged, I lost my engagement ring. While I was camping with my fiancé and two friends, we decided to take a walk in the water by the beach. As a...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I wrote to you once about seven years ago — I was a faithful column reader before and until now. Your advice was spot on, and now I find myself in a heartbreaking situation that I hope you will shed your light on. My husband and I have been married for six years. We have...
Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Jan 26, 2012 She berates! She glares! She makes backhanded comments about your lunch selection! Shouldn’t I, uh, say something? Dear Cary, My boss is insane. I know people say that a lot but I’m pretty sure I win. I recently started working for someone who I thought was an extravagant and eccentric designer, but instead I find out that she...
Cary’s archival column from FRIDAY, SEP 28, 2007 My future husband’s 38-year-old brother and his pregnant 20-year-old girlfriend: Yikes! Dear Cary, I am thrilled to be getting married this spring to a wonderful man. My fiancé proposed last winter, and we have been planning our wedding for over a year. This is a big deal for us. We started dating in 1999, and have lived together...
Back in 2008, I had the good fortune to be introduced to Cary Tennis. I was trying to make sense of a novel length story I had been working on for two years. I was self-conscious and insecure about what I had produced, and those insecurities were all but squeezing the life out of my creativity. I didn’t believe I qualified as a writer, but a story came to me with such compelling force that I...
by Kyoko Ide Revolution. I feel such resistance towards it. Why? I feel fear, I get tense, I feel like I have to find the right, proper words and expressions that wouldn’t offend anybody, so that my revolutionary self wouldn’t get criticized. But that’s not revolutionary at all. How come I feel like I have to protect myself and guard myself when I try to let my revolutionary...