[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, AUG 21, 2007 We do our Christian charity and then drink mimosas at a fancy hotel up the street. And that just seems so wrong! Dear Cary, A few months back, I joined a church group that goes to a homeless shelter once a month to prepare...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 16, 2009 I thought I liked this guy, but his message to me and the other woman he’s dating seemed pretty tacky. Dear Cary, I value your advice and read your column all the time. Anyway, after a long hiatus, I dove into the dating pool. I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, SEP 3, 2012 We date for six weeks and then they say, “There’s no spark” Hi Cary, I enjoy reading your responses because they are honest and very heartfelt, and – I hope this doesn’t sound over the top — they’re often quite...
Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, AUG 30, 2004 [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m afraid she’s a gold digger. Besides, it’s too soon after Mom’s death for Dad to have a girlfriend. Dear Cary, I am 24 years old and currently attending graduate school in fine art. About a year ago, my mother died from breast cancer...
Cary’s classic column from Monday, Apr 11, 2011 [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I feel awful there isn’t more I can do Dear Cary, I always appreciate your philosophical approach to helping people reflect on their problems, and I am interested in hearing your thoughts on mine. How does one support...
Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, January 22, 2008 [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Way back when, he gave up rights to the child, but now I want to know my half-sibling. Dear Cary, Until a few years ago the only issue I had with my dad was his drinking and resulting behavior. A family member recently uncovered...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I have a problem, and I don’t know whether it’s with myself or my partner. You have an exceptional understanding of the human mind and soul, so I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me out. We’ve been doing distance this past year with the intention of...
Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 13, 2004 Why can’t I get over my bitterness at my bad luck? Dear Cary, It seems crazy to write you at this time because actually I am happier right now than I’ve ever been in my life. I am engaged to a wonderful man and we are going to be married in the spring. He is 53, handsome, with thick salt-and-pepper hair and a truly sweet nature. I am...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Apr 19, 2012 We work together and now things are very, very awkward Dear Cary, Hi. Today I’m working from home because I’m so confused and humiliated about a situation at work that I am taking advantage of this option whenever I can. I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Sep 12, 2007 What is she doing at my parents’ house when I’m not there? Dear Cary, I’ve known my best friend for 22 years, since we were 10. We grew up right across the street from each other. It has been one of those great...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Sep 18, 2011 I was a nerdy frog who became a princess. Now I see the power, but also the price, of being beautiful Dear Cary, I have a problem that I can’t talk to many people about, because it’s about one of the most sensitive areas of life:...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Jul 27, 2011 I think my stepmonster is a borderline personality case Hi Cary, I’m writing to you because, much like many of your readers, I have a family dilemma over a decision I’ve made and I’m getting so many different reactions that I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Aug 7, 2007 I thought they were my friends, but they’ve been laughing at me all this time! Dear Cary, About a year ago I found out that five of the people on my campus, including my freshman roommate and a bunch of people I thought were my...
Dear Cary – My creative doubts have been simmering like a mild poison in my heart and mind for years and I’m starting to hate myself. I need to do something about it. Nine years ago I was living on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. By age 31 I had accidentally become a loudmouth, performance-arty, punk-rocky type person. I say accidentally because as a dull-witted, privileged...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Jun 21, 2004 Is it possible to go out with two women at the same time and get away with it? Dear Cary, I’m in a bind: After going a couple of years without a serious relationship, I recently met two very cool women in the course of two days. Gal...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Oct 6, 2003 But he’s an artist. Should I boot him? Dear Cary, My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year — my longest and best male/male relationship. Right before we met, he quit his lucrative job in retail to go back to school...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I recently hurt myself at work and was forced to take a few months off. I received worker’s compensation but it didn’t cover my bills and I ended up burning through my savings. Still, I was happy just to have all my physical therapy paid for. Then...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jul 20, 2004 Our son has asked us to be cool toward the parents of his ex-girlfriend. Should we do what he wants? Dear Cary, My college-age son just went through a nasty breakup with his girlfriend, which was largely due to her treating him...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I’ve had a problem for most of my life of being a procrastinator. When I was younger, I just thought that’s how it was. I did well in school but I’d usually wait until the last minute to do my assignments. When I got into college, I was...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Aug 19, 2004 My boss uses what I write in e-mails as his own. What should I do about it? Dear Cary, I’m an in-house copywriter/creative director with a small technical company, working for a boss whose communications skills, to put it...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 20, 2009 This guy in our neighborhood has it rough, but I need to maintain clear boundaries Dear Cary, A neighbor of mine needs help. He is effectively homeless, although I think he might have a cot of some sort in another neighbor’s garage...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I am writing to you in the hope that you can help me sort out my life, such as it is. I am a woman in her late thirties, though I look much younger. Who knows how long that will be the case, which is one of many issues clouding my mind and keeping me up at night. I met a man...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Jul 11, 2003 I have four kids, so should I break with my sometimes violent boyfriend? Dear Cary, I’m a mother of four: three preteen boys from my marriage at the tender age of 19, and a 3-year-old daughter with my current live-in boyfriend...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Dec 5, 2002 Should I give up my career and live the life of an Italian housewife? Dear Cary, I graduated from college nearly two years ago and moved to Italy, where I have fallen in love with a wonderful man I have known since April and dated...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I love your column. I hope you can help me. I have a multitude of problems all happening at the same time in my life. Well, some started years ago, but as long as they happened one at a time, I managed to get through them. Right now they seem to be taking place...
I sent a piece to “Fence” and they said it wasn’t for them. “Thanks. OK. That’s cool. I can handle it. It’s not a big deal. It’s not like I’m going to go out and cut myself or anything.” A meditation on submission and rejection ——– Original Message ——– Subject: RE: [Fence] Wading in Shallow Water with Architects From:...
When I first saw “love locks” on the Ponte Vecchio in Florence, they seemed like a charming folk expression. The metaphor of a lock on a bridge! Symbolizing lovers’ devotion! It spoke to the heart and the mind: transition, a liminal state, a gap between two certainties; a thing as ephemeral as love held firm in the cold steel of a lock. And an ordinary lock like from the hardware store...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Feb 24, 2003 I’m in a passionless marriage and I’m going to have an affair — just thought I’d let you know in case you have some advice. Dear Cary, My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years. We love each...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, DEC 10, 2002 She not only lives with us but also comes in and lies on our bed and watches TV with us. Dear Cary, I’m in a great relationship with a good man. We have been together for a year now and he is good to me, he treats me with so much...
Hi Cary, When I married my wife, I started my own business (Web development). And since our wedding day, that business was modest and grew slowly, but surely. But never beyond being a modest business. And we were happy. The key, however, was that I worked from home and spent a lot of time with my wife I otherwise would not, and I knew when we had kids, that meant spending time with them too. We...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Apr 25, 2003 I’ve kept my HIV-positive status to myself except for one time — and that person doesn’t communicate with me anymore. Dear Cary, I really like the humane advice you give and I need some myself. I am HIV positive and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 20, 2004 He screwed my 17-year-old sister on my wedding night, and threatened to have my kneecaps broken! Dear Cary, I live in a Scandinavian country. I moved here a little over a year ago to be with my love and recently got married...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, For three years I have grappled with how to write this letter. Cary, you are the only individual aside from my therapist that I can trust with my story. I have felt ashamed, frightened (all my secrets spread across the Internet) and strangely unable to write. But now I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 27, 2006 I like this guy a lot, but the poundage is a turnoff. Dear Cary, Currently I’m dating a man who just won’t leave my consciousness, not for a moment. I think of him all the time. He’s pretty special. My problem is this: This...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jul 17, 2012 He followed me on a work-related move and now he’s sitting around reading comic books Cary, About six months ago, I got a major promotion that came with a moderate pay raise. I needed to transfer from my company’s Northern...