[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Apr 29, 2009 I was fired and I’m making restitution, but I’m dying of shame. Dear Cary, I stole a large sum of money over a period of time from my job and was appropriately fired. I agreed to work out a repayment plan for all the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jun 26, 2012 I can’t afford to go plus I dread seeing my mean, stupid ex and his shiny new whatever Hi Cary, My question is simple, but the back story is complicated. A very good, old friend of mine is getting married this fall. She...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Jan 4, 2006 I told my husband I was a virgin when we married but I wasn’t. Now the guy I did it with is going to tell. Dear Cary, A secret from my youth is about to be exposed. When this happens, my life will implode. I can see the pain...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Apr 15, 2008 He says he’s not really following politics, but is planning to vote anyway. Dear Cary, My 84-year-old father voted a straight ticket in the 2008 primary. Now he says that at his age he doesn’t keep up with politics anymore...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jun 21, 2005 I’m pretty. I’m 23. I’m in a wheelchair. Now what? Dear Cary, Due to an accident, my leg and part of my hip had to be amputated. As you can imagine, this completely devastated me … I was only 22 when it happened...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Aug 25, 2011 05:20 PM PDT I thought I could bring him home, but he got loaded and disappeared Dear Cary, Recently — within the past couple of months — I went on a search to find my father. I can count how many times I’ve seen him in my life and...
Would you like to come to the Chateau du Pin writing retreat with a well-planned route that is easy to follow? My wife Norma is a great planner, plus she reads French, German and Italian, so she has figured it all out for you. First: Would you like to fly into Paris, or into Nantes? The advantage of flying into Paris is that it’s Paris. Paris is an amazing, life-changing city. Nothing can...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Aug 25, 2008 His 9-year-old has Tourette’s and ADHD, and I’m still a student … is this a good idea? Hello, I’m a 23-year-old student and I am moving in with my boyfriend (29) and his son (9) this week. I’ve realized as the date...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I am seeing a great guy, but things have recently become very ambiguous between us and I’m not sure the best course of action for me. We were dating for a little over two months, it was a slowly deepening fantastic and mature relationship, and I care for him...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Apr 28, 2011 Since they got suddenly rich, all they talk about is how hard it is to get good help Hi, Cary – In a nutshell, the problem is that my three best friends have all inherited substantial money in the past two years. My husband and I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Mar 12, 2012 I’ve never told anyone what my dad did to me when I was 10. Should I just keep it bottled up? Dear Cary, Well first of all, man, I’ve never done something like this, ever, so it’s kinda scary. But here’s the deal. I’m a guy...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I love reading your column. You write straight to the point with witty remarks yet underline it with great depth and advice. I’m in desperate need of advice. So, here goes. I’m in my late twenties, done a lot of introspection and I’ve finally...
Cary’s classic column from Sep 3, 2009 They’ll drive us crazy if we stay. We want to move to Colorado! Dear Cary, This is hardly a new topic, but here goes. My husband and I have been married about a year and a half. We met, instantly fell in love and got married a short time later. We are in our mid-30s and know ourselves well, so there was no reason to wait. And we are crazy happy with...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, May 26, 2005 He’s had some tough blows lately, but I’m concerned he’s really losing it. Dear Cary, My younger brother, 40, is an anxious, depressed social recluse. He lives with his dog in a basement apartment alone. He never answers...
But writing in a magnificent French château surrounded by 300 acres of topiary, formal gardens, parks, woodland trails and vineyards can’t hurt. Maybe you’re perfectly content writing by yourself day after day in your kitchen on that old table, or at your cramped desk in the spare bedroom. Fine. À chacun son goût. You can find us this September at Le Château du Pin, a private French...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I was born in the States to a conservative Muslim Indian family. My mother, younger brothers and I moved back when I was around 11, while my (very religious) dad stayed on as a small business owner and came to see us three to four times a year. I came back to the States...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Jul 24, 2006 If we were to marry, could we make it work? Dear Cary, I’ve been dating a good man for the last seven months. We have loads of fun together; we’re both creative types who pursue our passions in our own time while working at jobs related to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, MAY 6, 2008 We think she’s out of control, and we think she should tell her boyfriend. Dear Cary, I am writing to you to get advice about a friend of mine who has some rather troubling issues that I fear may one day turn into very serious issues...
Judith, abstract expressionist, El Farolito on 24th Street in the Mission for lunch after the meeting, talking about William James, the God thing, William James says, Look, we are scientific men, Christian men, honest men, and we cannot deny what we see: People are having experiences; they have these experiences of another world and then they change. What are we to call this? How can we, as...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, This is the second time I write to you. I don’t want to take advantage of you, but your advice has given me such a wise and comforting, yet concrete external point of view through which looking at my problem that helped me a lot, and I really look up to your...
It was at one time understood that to be noble one must not draw unseemly attention to oneself or glorify oneself or make oneself seem, in a crowd, to be the most important person, or to seek glory only for oneself at the expense of others, nor to seek to draw the fame of others toward oneself for one’s own gain. But today, all good citizens must tweet and tweet widely. One must take...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Nov 6, 2007 My father was full of rage and insult, and I sat mute through his tirades. Now I’m exploding at people too. Dear Cary, So I grew up in an abusive household. Not the “my dad gets drunk and smashes a lamp over my mother’s head” kind of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, Feb 27, 2004 I’m a good girl, but I can’t seem to stop. Dear Cary, I had to have liquid courage to be able to write this message. I’m married. I’ve been having an affair for nearly a year. It’s the same-old, same-old someone-I-work-with...
Not to be postmodern or self-reflexive or self-conscious about the form but just to say that I’m going through a process of discovering what I love and in the process of discovering what I love I realized as I was exiting the bathroom that the reason I didn’t feel comfortable in the comments section at Salon for the whole 12 years I was writing those 2,300-odd Since You Asked advice...
I’m so awakened by Ifemelu in Americanah, her blogging, that after the doctor, whose first name was Tennessa, which I had never heard before, and which, when I mentioned it to the medical student who had amazingly white teeth, got me a blank and slightly fearful smile as if she did not know which way I was going with this simple acknowledgement that I had never heard the name Tennessa...
Come to Guest House Retreat and Conference Center in Chester, Connecticut, May 16 through 19, 2014, for four days writing, thinking, talking and exploring new inner territory in a safe and supportive environment. I’ll be there, along with Amherst Writers and Artists founder Pat Schneider, offering daily Amherst Writers and Artists workshops in the beautiful Connecticut countryside. For...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Reader, I thought that every time I do a column I would write something but today I don’t really want to write anything about myself. I really do not like writing about myself. Or do I? Actually, what happens is that initially writing about myself is frustrating because I do...
The Amherst Writers and Artists workshop method helps people write. It’s that simple. •It helps beginners and it helps professionals. •Plus it’s fun! How does it work? Well, I’ve been leading AWA workshops for over fifteen years and what I’ve seen in those seven years is people coming in who may have written a lot in the past and got stuck, or are currently writing but...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column WEDNESDAY, JAN 22, 2003 12:05 PM PST My husband “goes at it” with porn and sex toys right in front of me! Dear Cary, Lately, my husband of 10 years has developed a fascination (obsession?) with video porn and vibrating sex toys. He says he’s sick of...
Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 25, 2007 By the time you read this, she’ll probably be gone. Why couldn’t I be by her side? Dear Cary, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and need advice. So here I am. I’ll cut to the point: My 63-year-old mother will most likely be deceased by the time you receive this. After a number of years battling multiple sclerosis, the drugs...
I just had a weird thought. Weird but lucid. More like a vision. I just thought, what if we are producing a generation of people who are going to solve the planetary problems we have created? What if the whole system, not just the human race but the planetary system itself, the biosphere, is producing the cure for its ills, in the form of a generation of humans agile enough to use technology to...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary – My ex and I divorced 7 years ago. He instigated it. Although I knew he was dissatisfied with where he was at in life, it completely took me by surprise that he was unhappy enough in the relationship to want out. After he said he wanted to split, I went...
A super-big thanks! to all the Amherst Writers and Artists workshop leaders, friends and fans who have spread the word about our upcoming four-day AWA workshop/retreat at the Guest House in Chester, Connecticut! (And if you know somebody who might like to know, please feel free to pass this along.) Big thanks go to Jan Nielsen of the Universalist Church in West Hartford, Ct., Patricia Bender of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column Tuesday, JUL 21, 2003 What do I owe him? Dear Cary, Last year I went to visit a divorce lawyer, having finally got up the nerve to end a 29-year marriage (I’m 49) to a physically and emotionally abusive man. I had been seeing a wonderful man for some time, and we...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column WEDNESDAY, JUL 2, 2003 My friend is married to a beautiful Russian woman, but I see a train wreck in their future. Dear Cary, A friend of mine has a problem, and I am not sure how to help him. I recently returned to the United States from two years in Russia. While...