[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, NOV 10, 2004 We bought a house together and it’s tearing us apart. Dear Cary, My ex-boyfriend and I met three years ago, fell madly in love, and six months later bought a fixer-upper in a transitioning neighborhood in an inner-city neighborhood...
My son is almost 30 and won’t leave home
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, SEP 4, 2007 I know I can’t support him anymore — I need to save for retirement. What do I do? Dear Cary, I’m a single mother with a grown son. I love him more than I can say. He’s a good person, a great guy in so many ways — smart, creative, kind...
A big black hole
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, APR 30, 2003 I get emotionally and sexually involved with people I care about. But I do it too often and too simultaneously. Dear Cary, I’m starting to feel like I’ve got a big black hole in my emotional makeup. It’s a feeling that comes from the way...
I’m still angry at my father — what happened in my childhood?
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, NOV 1, 2005 I have certain hazy memories that give me the creeps, but I really don’t know the truth. Dear Cary, I’ll try to make this short. I’m a 27-year-old man. I’ve blown every good relationship I have ever been in. Sometimes I wonder if my...
How do I overcome the inertia?
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column TUESDAY, MAR 21, 2006 I have so much potential I can’t decide what to do! Dear Cary, I’m 23 and panicking. I’ve been working at a fairly small company in New York for about two years now. Immersed in my studies during my senior year at college, I hadn’t looked very...
People think I’m a radical. And that’s … OK!
Hi Cary, Something new is happening and I honestly feel like I’m in a corner. Politically I am liberal. I am also atheist. And I consider myself a very tolerant and accepting person. I will, for example accept that your favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla, and that you say you love it, while mine is tiramisu. But, if you say vanilla is absolutely, without a doubt the best flavor, not to...
He does the dumbest things!
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 5, 2004 I thought my husband was stupid, but he’s just got attention deficit disorder. Dear Cary, I’m 40 years old, married for 19 years, with three boys ages 4, 8 and 14, who are constantly and completely amazing to me. I never finished college...
If I could do it over …
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, OCT 17, 2003 I’ve been with one woman for my adult life, but now I feel closer to someone else. Dear Cary, I am a 42-year-old man married for six years; previous to marriage, my wife and I were together for 15 years. Do the math, and you’ll see that...
I’m hanging by my fingernails — but it feels good!
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, AUG 1, 2005 I’ve got this situation with my husband that’s really rough. Maybe I should move on? Dear Cary – My husband wants to go visit his lovers. And I’m strongly considering moving on. My husband has been cultivating a relationship with two men...
Did I luck out, or did I settle?
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] My boyfriend is great, but I was never swept off my feet. What is this nagging feeling? Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JAN 21, 2003 Dear Cary, I’ve spent the past six years of my life with a wonderful man who is educated, caring, wonderfully attentive, incredibly expressive...
My son eloped and cut me out
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, SEP 17, 2012 I only got a generic notice, as if I were just a bystander, or an acquaintance! Dear Cary, It’s my turn. I need advice. I opened my mail earlier this week and found a wedding announcement — from my son. My son, whom I raised alone since he...
What’s worse — my breast cancer, or my relatives trying to “help” me?
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 19, 2007 I am a secular person, I do not like the color pink, and I need to manage my disease my own way. Dear Cary, I am a 47-year-old happily married woman with four children who was recently diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. It’s been a...
Instead of unwrapping new gizmos, I’d like help with my debts
Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, DEC 13, 2012 Dear Mr. Tennis, I have a fairly simple holiday question to ask you. But I fear that even though the question is simple the answer, or advice, may be much more complicated. So here goes… In all of your intuitive sagacity do you believe that it would be bad form to ask family members if they could contribute to helping pay outstanding debts (i.e...
Holiday nightmare: Here it comes again
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from SUNDAY, DEC 4, 2011 How can I make this year’s gathering tolerable, at least? Dear Cary, So, this is a boring question but a timely one. It’s That Time of Year again, when the secular and religious Christians descend upon the homes of their relatives to give...
My brother brutally murdered two people
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAR 2, 2011 Should I approach his victims’ families? Can I help in any way? Dear Cary, My brother brutally murdered two people and now faces the death penalty. There are many issues I am dealing with so this really jumps around a lot but it is the...
I detest my parents, but I’m turning into them!
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 29, 2005 As a student of biology, I fear that genes are destiny. I feel powerless to individuate! Dear Cary, My parents are pretty nice people. They raised me and my brother in an upper-middle-class neighborhood, provided us with food, attention and...
Big 4-0
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, NOV 18, 2002 I have a wonderful daughter but no love or romance, and life just sucks. Dear Cary, So, I just turned 40. So far, it sucks, thank you very much. There’s something about a “magic number” birthday like 40 that brings the suckiness of one’s...
My family gives me no respect
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUN 7, 2006 I’m accomplished and responsible but they treat me like a loser. Dear Cary, I have a great job, own my own home, car, dog and medium-size 401K, have put myself through college and law school. I am not a loser! So why does my whole family...
I found a girl in my son’s bed
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 30, 2009 I don’t think I’m comfortable with my 17-year-old bringing 16-year-old girls home — but what to do? Dear Cary: Last night I discovered my 17-year-old son brought a girl to stay the night. To say the least it was unexpected and I...
Is my son gay?
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUL 5, 2005 As a mom, I can’t help wondering — but is it any of my business? Dear Cary, I’m writing to you A) because I like your column, and B) because you were once a 20-year-old male. I’ve got one of them — a 20-year-old son, not a column —...
I came home to a sleeping country
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JAN 28, 2013 Back in the States after the Peace Corps, I feel lost, like it’s unreal Dear Cary, After graduating from college, I joined the Peace Corps. This whole growing up thing has been great, by the way! There are more interesting things to learn...
Have I ruined my marriage and screwed up my life?
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Oct 25, 2010 I got restless and fooled around and now I’ve come back. Why do I feel I’ve betrayed myself? Dear Cary, This is going to sound very weird, coming from a man and all. I’m a pretty well-set guy in my low 50s, good income, very athletic and...
Yo-yo man
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, APR 22, 2003 I’m with a man who says he doesn’t believe in love, but he’s loving when he’s with me. Help! Dear Cary, Around four months ago I started dating this guy, “Steve,” who I met over the Internet. Steve is tall, funny and smart. He tells me...
Why can’t I find a relationship that will last?
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUN 6, 2008 Am I destined to be lonely? Do I pick the wrong men? Why am I still single? Dear Cary, I believe that I have lost my ability to trust my judgments on relationships. However, I still believe in love, and I have not given up all hope. Here is...
My boss wants to get rid of me
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, SEP 2, 2004 She wants me to leave under my own power — in a nice, quiet way. Dear Cary, I’ve been working at a high-tech company for about five years. My previous boss adored me, gave me good raises and promised me a promotion. Unfortunately...
The workers I supervise are out of control
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, OCT 1, 2007 I am supposed to be managing 15 people, but they are crazy and unmanageable. What am I to do? Dear Cary, I supervise about 15 people at my job, 13 of whom are women. I am a man. It is an office environment, not high pressure, with relatively...
I’m sleeping with my best friend’s fiancé
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 16, 2008 I didn’t like him at first because he was treating her bad, but now I’ve got him under my skin. Dear Cary, My best friend got engaged to the father of her kids about four months ago. I didn’t like him because in the beginning of their...
Warning signs
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, NOV 12, 2003 I’m in love with her, she’s in love with him, and I feel like a confused, heartbroken sucker. Dear Cary, A few months ago, I had a one-night stand with a co-worker. She had recently been seeing another co-worker who broke her heart...
I’m an insecure saboteur
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, MAY 14, 2004 I have a habit of destroying all of my relationships after they’re about a year old. Dear Cary, I have a problem with keeping friends more than about a year, mostly due to my insecurities, but I have no clue why I act the way I do or...
How do you kick out a disorderly roommate?
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 15, 2005 We all like to party, but she takes it way too far. Dear Cary, I’m a 24-year-old female living with two roommates in a rental house. Being in our 20s, drinking, etc., is not exactly frowned upon. Hell, we love it. My one roommate, whom I’ll...
Help me be strong
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JUL 28, 2003 I’m in love with a man I work with. We’re both married with kids but we don’t want to break up our families. Dear Cary, I’m in love with a man I work with. He’s married, I’m married, both of us have kids — hard to make it sound original...
My former best friend became a stripper
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from December 10, 2010 Wow. We were so close in high school, and now she’s doing drugs and hanging out with gangs Dear Cary, “Jenny” and I were the best of friends in high school. We did everything together and were more like sisters than friends. After high...
I’m 38 and want kids, but the men I’m dating don’t
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, OCT 11, 2005 Since divorce, life has been pretty swell, but now I want to settle down and be a mom. Dear Cary, I was violently thrust into the dating inferno after my divorce nearly six years ago. During that time I’ve run the gamut of interactions:...
I’m so anxious I can’t think straight
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, MAY 4, 2007 I know what the issues are, but I can’t really deal with them. Dear Cary, Lately I’ve been very anxious about my father. I’ve been anxious about mortality and life goals, or how to live in general, but particularly as it concerns my...
My next-door neighbor died and I didn’t do a thing
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAR 29, 2006 Am I a terrible person, or just a normal American? Dear Cary, Before I begin, I want to preface this by explaining that by nature, I’m a fairly shy person. I hate calling people, I hate confrontation; I prefer to keep to myself. It takes...
