[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JAN 11, 2008 I don’t know if this is just typical midlife stuff, or if I’m in serious psychological trouble. Dear Cary: I am a suburban husband in my 40s with two wonderful kids, a good marriage, a secure job and financial situation, no medical...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JAN 20, 2004 I grew up in an abusive household, but I’m determined to be happy. Am I capable of it? Dear Cary, I grew up in the home of a raging alcoholic, drug abuser and emotionally and verbally abusive father. For the first 18 years of my life every...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, OCT 19, 2006 It was good to separate from their alcoholic dad — but I feel bad about bringing my kids to the city. Dear Cary, My husband and I are recently separated. To make a long story short, he developed a serious drinking habit over the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 21, 2003 Our love makes me feel part of something bigger, but his anger scares me. Dear Cary, I’m in love. Hooray! This is a good thing. It’s beautiful. There is mutual honesty, caring and affection. This man encourages me to think and to explore...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Friday, May 23, 2008 I would like to help them celebrate their 50th anniversary, but I dread being in the same room with that man. Dear Cary, When I was a teenager, I was sexually abused by my older brother. I’ve been through three different therapists trying...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, NOV 30, 2007 An anonymous complaint brought a scary visitor with a list of accusations. Dear Cary, I have an unusual problem that is really hurting me. About two months ago, a worker from the child protection agency in my town appeared on my doorstep...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, JUL 21, 2003 My abusive husband is dying and I have a lover. How good do I have to be? Dear Cary, Last year I went to visit a divorce lawyer, having finally got up the nerve to end a 29-year marriage (I’m 49) to a physically and emotionally abusive man...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAY 31, 2006 I’m not ashamed of him, but I think he’ll be bored and make me nervous. Dear Cary, Am I a horrible person for hoping my husband doesn’t go with me to my 10-year high school reunion next month? Since it was first mentioned, he...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, APR 6, 2004 She’s not a bad person, but I resent how she imposes herself on our lives. Dear Cary, I’ve noticed that often your advice doesn’t come in the form of a specific answer to a specific problem. The advice you give tends to come in the form of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 29, 2003 The married man I’m sleeping with feels less guilty about it because I’m bisexual! Dear Cary, I’m a 30-year-old, intelligent, funny, independent, beautiful woman — or so I hear. I’m bisexual, but have been predominantly involved with...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUN 8, 2006 I’m only 21 but I’m itching to get hitched! Dear Cary, For slightly over a year I have been in a serious relationship with the best human being I have ever met. He’s principled, loyal, wickedly funny and just the right kind of twisted. We...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JAN 6, 2005 We’ve been in counseling for about six months now, but it doesn’t seem to be affecting them. Dear Cary, You and other sage advice givers often recommend that people seek therapy for their problems, especially when a couple or family needs...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JAN 26, 2007 I think I made a big mistake. Home ownership isn’t what I thought it would be. Dear Cary: I am 35 years old, and we recently bought our first house. I have cried every day since. Our house is an older fixer-upper. All I could see when we...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Feb 25, 2004 Should I tell her he’s cheating? Dear Cary, A friend, and ex-fiancée, of mine recently became engaged to someone she has known for only six months. They are planning a wedding only three months from today. When they were dating she...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, MAR 11, 2004 I got engaged, then found out she is bipolar. How can I break it off with the least amount of hurt for both of us? Dear Cary, I am in my 30s and from a religious background where one only dates (limited to conversations over dinner or...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, DEC 20, 2002 I love my girlfriend, but she’s from an unambitious family. What’s an immigrant with a legacy wish supposed to do? Dear Cary, I am dating a wonderful young woman who makes me laugh. All the things I hate to do, like talking on the phone...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Now that I’m finally free to leave my drag of a husband, he’s cleaning up his act. Should I leave him anyway? Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 10, 2003 Dear Cary, For over a decade I promised myself I would move out of the house the day my youngest went off to college. For years...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m 43 and I’ve always been beautiful, and now I am in a state of shock at what’s happening! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, NOV 15, 2007 Dear Cary, I am a 43-year-old woman. I have been married and soon will be again. I do not have children. Without sounding like an arrogant...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] She wants her fiance to spend three months’ salary on her engagement ring. Is that fair to the man? Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JAN 28, 2005 Dear Cary, About a year and a half ago, my husband’s and my best friends broke up. She was unhappy and disappointed with him; he was...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Please, women, don’t speculate on my hips’ suitability for childbearing! Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 9, 2008 Dear Cary, How do I handle comments from other women (yes, other women) about my body? I’m 5’5” and weigh 115. By the age of 55 I’d think that the days of dealing...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m sick, got no job, dad just died, living with Mom, her mind is gone, I owe people money, what’s the point? Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JAN 19, 2011 Dear Cary, I am 48, have hep C and Stage 2 cirrhosis of the liver. I have no job, missed too much work sick. Mom is all I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] My husband told me that he and my friend are attracted to each other — two days after my father died! Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, JUL 18, 2003 Dear Cary, This past Tuesday, my father died. Although it was not unexpected, I loved him deeply and am dealing with a lot of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, THURSDAY, JAN 30, 2003 My boyfriend promised we’d be engaged by Christmas but we weren’t. Should I let it go or move out? Dear Cary, I have been dating my boyfriend for four years, and living with him for most of that time. We started (I think...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I feel like I’ve failed at everything. How do I get back on track? Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, FEB 16, 2005 Dear Cary, I need help. I don’t know how my life got so badly off the rails, but it has. I have no idea what I can do to ever be happy again. I used to have a lot of...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] My boyfriend is leaving for a career opportunity. Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, FEB 14, 2006 Dear Cary, My problem is, predictably, about love; selfish love vs. unconditional love. I don’t know whether to feel like a doormat or like a good person. I’ve been dating and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I have been through a lot of loss, but I can’t seem to get over losing her love. Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, JUL 14, 2004 Dear Cary, At Christmas she left me, told me she had fallen out of love. It has been half a year; I have dated, moved on, accepted that she is never...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I desperately needed money so I agreed to her terms, but I find them chilling and bizarre Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Nov 21, 2010 Dear Cary, Almost 10 years ago my wealthy aunt loaned me some money. I have not seen or spoken to this aunt in many years now, nor have I repaid the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Do I boycott the wedding? Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, DEC 28, 2010 Dear Cary, My sister, who is 34 to my 30, has been dating a man in his early 40s on and off for the past 10 years. To give you some background on his character, when she first met him, he was in his early 30s...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] We’ve got a great life going. Let’s not spoil it. Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, APR 9, 2009 Dear Cary, I had a great childhood, full of country walks and art projects and picture books. My parents loved each other and they loved me and my siblings. I was not, despite all...
We write and we write and we write on the Net, dispensing thoughts and advice. For what? Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, FEB 4, 2009 Dear Cary, My problem is that we have a one-day cycle in our writing, in our lives. You read our problems; then people read our problems in your column. Then people read our responses, but then the sun comes up again, and all our writing goes down on the...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, Caitlyn Jenner recently made the poignant comment that, had she not transitioned, when the time came for her to die (as a man), she would have lain on her deathbed and thought, “I have blown my entire life.” I cannot stop thinking about that; it haunts me daily...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] She and I slept in the same bed. Her boyfriend wants an apology. But nothing happened! Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, JUL 7, 2005 Dear Cary, My best friend (a woman) met a man last summer whom she is now living with in another state and will most likely marry in the next couple...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Aug 3, 2010 I do not love this cat. I do not like this cat. I want to slap this cat. Can’t I send it back, this cat? Dear Cary, I recently adopted a young cat from the animal shelter. She’s very sweet and loving and is really not all that badly...
I know it’s inevitable, but I can’t imagine how to get through it Dear Cary, I’m writing because I love your advice and follow your column avidly. I don’t have the time or focus to make this pithy. I’ve always envisioned writing you a clever and insightful letter someday, and this ain’t it. In a nutshell: I just learned my mother has a deadly cancer, her second round in two years. Despite what...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m not ready for cats and pottery class, but I don’t know how to deal with the fear. Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, FEB 7, 2006 Dear Cary, I find myself pondering the notion of dating again after the demise of a long-term relationship. I’m female and in my late 30s, and I find...