[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 18, 2003 Is it reasonable to expect a happy love life, or in the end will it just be me, Aunt Zoey and a few too many cats? Dear Cary, I am a 29-year-old woman about to begin a doctoral degree in a field that truly moves and inspires me. I am...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, APR 21, 2008 I hate my job and hated my last job and feel like a failure. But is it my fault? Dear Cary, I find myself running in circles, around and around inside my head. I just started a new job and I despise it. Everyone was so excited for me to...
We changed the WordPress theme. You noticed? Also: Cary Tennis is writing a new, different Since You Asked column: More questions Shorter answers Mostly about writing and ideas but also other things Basically: It’s way differenter! Why? Who’s got the time? Long sentences: hard to read on phone The kid just wants to do new things The “Since You Asked” advice column ran on...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, SEP 15, 2004 You’d think a Ph.D. in Renaissance literature from an Ivy League school would count for something in the business world. Dear Cary, On paper, I am talented, bright, creative … almost perfect. I am 33 years old; I have a Ph.D. in...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, FEB 10, 2005 My mom’s a slob, my sister’s a loser. What is wrong with these people? Dear Cary, My question is a simple one of whom to be mad at. Here’s the background: My mom has always been a horrible housekeeper. My dad actually left her...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, OCT 6, 2009 I’ve got only a genetic disease and old age to look forward to Dear Cary, I have been reading your column for a while and always find your advice useful in a roundabout way, but I especially find it honest. I’m going to be...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, APR 22, 2008 I want to work in New York publishing, and I know this is the route, but I’m miserable and depressed. Dear Cary, I am a freshman at the top Ivy League school in the country, and while this has never been easy, or, to put it more...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column fromWEDNESDAY, JUL 2, 2008 Cancer changed everything. I need a new paradigm. Dear Cary, Please help me figure out how to survive surviving. Three years ago I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. After a year of surgery, chemo and...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from FRIDAY, APR 22, 2005 Why did he spend 18 years with my mom? Did he know all along, or what? Dear Cary, Two months ago my dad moved out of the house. For about two years he has been depressed and then he started to have a drinking problem. My mom tried...
Dear Cary, I need clarity surrounding my relationship with my two sons, 25 and 30, who until a month ago resided with me in the house I raised a family in. Both are opioid abusers (and benzodiazepines and nitrous oxide “whip-its” when they can get them) and they have systematically manifested the usual toolkit strengths of addicts … lying, cheating and stealing repeatedly...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 15, 2004 Just because I bounced between anorexia and bulimia people think they can comment on what I’m eating. Dear Cary, Why won’t people stop watching what I eat? I used to bounce back and forth between anorexia and bulimia in high...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, MAR 19, 2003 I want my husband to write a letter to my future lovers, telling them that the demise of our marriage was his fault. Dear Cary, I don’t always agree with you, but I do think you are compassionate and nonjudgmental, two of the most...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from WEDNESDAY, OCT 19, 2005T Is this resolution or abandonment? Dear Cary: Thank you, first off, for being a unique voice in a somewhat crude, unsympathetic age. Here’s my problem in a nutshell: I’ve abandoned my family, and they’ve let me, and I can’t...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, AUG 21, 2007 We do our Christian charity and then drink mimosas at a fancy hotel up the street. And that just seems so wrong! Dear Cary, A few months back, I joined a church group that goes to a homeless shelter once a month to prepare...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from TUESDAY, JUN 16, 2009 I thought I liked this guy, but his message to me and the other woman he’s dating seemed pretty tacky. Dear Cary, I value your advice and read your column all the time. Anyway, after a long hiatus, I dove into the dating pool. I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, SEP 3, 2012 We date for six weeks and then they say, “There’s no spark” Hi Cary, I enjoy reading your responses because they are honest and very heartfelt, and – I hope this doesn’t sound over the top — they’re often quite...
Cary’s classic column from MONDAY, AUG 30, 2004 [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I’m afraid she’s a gold digger. Besides, it’s too soon after Mom’s death for Dad to have a girlfriend. Dear Cary, I am 24 years old and currently attending graduate school in fine art. About a year ago, my mother died from breast cancer...
Cary’s classic column from Monday, Apr 11, 2011 [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] I feel awful there isn’t more I can do Dear Cary, I always appreciate your philosophical approach to helping people reflect on their problems, and I am interested in hearing your thoughts on mine. How does one support...
Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, January 22, 2008 [button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Way back when, he gave up rights to the child, but now I want to know my half-sibling. Dear Cary, Until a few years ago the only issue I had with my dad was his drinking and resulting behavior. A family member recently uncovered...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I have a problem, and I don’t know whether it’s with myself or my partner. You have an exceptional understanding of the human mind and soul, so I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me out. We’ve been doing distance this past year with the intention of...
Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Oct 13, 2004 Why can’t I get over my bitterness at my bad luck? Dear Cary, It seems crazy to write you at this time because actually I am happier right now than I’ve ever been in my life. I am engaged to a wonderful man and we are going to be married in the spring. He is 53, handsome, with thick salt-and-pepper hair and a truly sweet nature. I am...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Apr 19, 2012 We work together and now things are very, very awkward Dear Cary, Hi. Today I’m working from home because I’m so confused and humiliated about a situation at work that I am taking advantage of this option whenever I can. I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Sep 12, 2007 What is she doing at my parents’ house when I’m not there? Dear Cary, I’ve known my best friend for 22 years, since we were 10. We grew up right across the street from each other. It has been one of those great...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Sunday, Sep 18, 2011 I was a nerdy frog who became a princess. Now I see the power, but also the price, of being beautiful Dear Cary, I have a problem that I can’t talk to many people about, because it’s about one of the most sensitive areas of life:...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Wednesday, Jul 27, 2011 I think my stepmonster is a borderline personality case Hi Cary, I’m writing to you because, much like many of your readers, I have a family dilemma over a decision I’ve made and I’m getting so many different reactions that I...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Aug 7, 2007 I thought they were my friends, but they’ve been laughing at me all this time! Dear Cary, About a year ago I found out that five of the people on my campus, including my freshman roommate and a bunch of people I thought were my...
Dear Cary – My creative doubts have been simmering like a mild poison in my heart and mind for years and I’m starting to hate myself. I need to do something about it. Nine years ago I was living on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. By age 31 I had accidentally become a loudmouth, performance-arty, punk-rocky type person. I say accidentally because as a dull-witted, privileged...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Jun 21, 2004 Is it possible to go out with two women at the same time and get away with it? Dear Cary, I’m in a bind: After going a couple of years without a serious relationship, I recently met two very cool women in the course of two days. Gal...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Monday, Oct 6, 2003 But he’s an artist. Should I boot him? Dear Cary, My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year — my longest and best male/male relationship. Right before we met, he quit his lucrative job in retail to go back to school...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I recently hurt myself at work and was forced to take a few months off. I received worker’s compensation but it didn’t cover my bills and I ended up burning through my savings. Still, I was happy just to have all my physical therapy paid for. Then...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Tuesday, Jul 20, 2004 Our son has asked us to be cool toward the parents of his ex-girlfriend. Should we do what he wants? Dear Cary, My college-age son just went through a nasty breakup with his girlfriend, which was largely due to her treating him...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Hi Cary, I’ve had a problem for most of my life of being a procrastinator. When I was younger, I just thought that’s how it was. I did well in school but I’d usually wait until the last minute to do my assignments. When I got into college, I was...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from Thursday, Aug 19, 2004 My boss uses what I write in e-mails as his own. What should I do about it? Dear Cary, I’m an in-house copywriter/creative director with a small technical company, working for a boss whose communications skills, to put it...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Cary’s classic column from THURSDAY, AUG 20, 2009 This guy in our neighborhood has it rough, but I need to maintain clear boundaries Dear Cary, A neighbor of mine needs help. He is effectively homeless, although I think he might have a cot of some sort in another neighbor’s garage...
[button link=”mailto:[email protected]” newwindow=”yes”] Write for Advice[/button] Dear Cary, I am writing to you in the hope that you can help me sort out my life, such as it is. I am a woman in her late thirties, though I look much younger. Who knows how long that will be the case, which is one of many issues clouding my mind and keeping me up at night. I met a man...